God prepared works for you before you were born. Your singleness is a part of that, not a hindrance. You can thank God for His providence in your life, set your eyes firmly on Jesus, and perform those works faithfully. This is a sure path to contentment and joy in every season.

In her book “The Hiding Place,” Corrie ten Boom shares the story of falling in love with Karel, a friend of her brother Willem. While in her 20s, Corrie began a pattern of daily walks with Karel that quickly developed into conversations about a future together, complete with a house and children.

Willem warned Corrie that Karel’s family would disapprove of her. He knew they were set on Karel marrying a woman with money and status, and that his friend could not disappoint them. Karel and Corrie’s relationship shifted to long distance, sustained by letters, until one day Karel showed up unexpectedly at Corrie’s door and introduced another woman to her as his fiancée.

Willem had been right. Devastated, Corrie ran to her room and wept.

Corrie went on to hide Jews in the Netherlands during World War II. This work landed her in Ravensbruck, a Nazi concentration camp, where she spent most of 1944. After the war, she opened a home to provide healing for concentration camp survivors. She also began writing and speaking about what she had learned during her time in Ravensbruck. For decades she traveled internationally, teaching about God’s grace in suffering and the power of the gospel for reconciliation.

Corrie’s life illustrates what the Apostle Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34. Here, Paul tells us that one of the great privileges of singleness is the ability to focus on serving God’s kingdom, unencumbered by the distractions of marriage. Of course, those who are married also serve God’s kingdom through their family life. But it is far more difficult for them to have a singular focus on the type of outward-facing ministry that characterized Corrie’s life.

While losing Karel was devastating at the time, it enabled the never-married Corrie to have a future ministry of great purpose. As we’re reminded in 1 Corinthians 2:9, we simply have not seen, heard or imagined “what God has prepared for those who love him.”

Singles Stay Curious

How do we find joy and contentment in singleness if we long for marriage? How do we avoid cynicism or bitterness? Pastor Carey Nieuwhof teaches that the cure to cynicism is curiosity. One way singles can grow in joy and contentment is to be curious about how God is using our flexibility and freedom to advance His kingdom. God was not just at work in Corrie’s story; He is at work in yours, too.

I see this in my own life. In my late 20s I became the only pastor at an established church. This was both wonderful and terrible. Wonderful, because I had my dream job at least 10 years early; terrible, because I skipped 10 years of learning and growing as an assistant pastor. My early years of ministry were what one mentor called a “vertical learning curve.” Thrust into that leadership position with practically no experience, my days were often stressful and busy.

I look back and see God’s mercy and wisdom in keeping me single. I can only imagine the damage my work habits would have done to a wife or children. Unmarried, I could move forward with singular focus. A local pastor once asked me what it was like to be a single pastor. I told him, “I don’t have conversations with my wife about how many nights a week I can be out.”

As Søren Kierkegaard famously said, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” I can now genuinely thank God for keeping me single. Being never married in my 30s is not how I would have written my story, but thankfully, I’m not the author. As the Heidelberg Catechism reminds me, I am not my own but belong to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.

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