Jesus, of course, does make a difference in the lives of believers; it’s just not the difference of a better life now in all the ways we might want. After all, what did Jesus say? “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matt. 16:24). That means Jesus might make a difference in your marriage by giving you the grace to persevere with a spouse who no longer loves you. He might bring love, joy, and peace to your home by making you an agent rather than a recipient of those things. He might give you renewed purpose at work by changing your attitude rather than your job description.

Evangelical churches can get caught up in promoting a moralistic program of “being nice,” but it’s difficult to spot because it’s almost never taught explicitly. It follows us into the church like walking inside with the aroma of the outdoors; it’s hard to smell it on yourself because you’re so accustomed to it. But the smell shows up in a number of ways:

• We condemn the world’s sin more than our own.
• We put sins in a hierarchy, and tolerate some sins (especially our own) more than others.
• In church, we sing songs and pray prayers of praise, but not songs and prayers of confession.
• We describe our own sins as “mistakes.”
• We use Bible stories to teach children to be good rather than to point them to a Savior: “Be like David,” not “You need a new and better David, who is Christ.”

How to Be Nice

Perhaps the main way we teach nice is how we present Christ. We commend him and the gospel as a method of self-improvement. It’s not that we fail to talk about the cross or even sin; it’s that sin is presented as a problem primarily for how it messes up our lives and relationships and gets in the way of our goals. Jesus is presented as the one who will change all that. We tell people he will make a difference in their marriages and in their parenting. He will bring love, joy, and peace to their home. He will give them renewed purpose at work. Come to Jesus, and he’ll make a difference in your life.

Jesus, of course, does make a difference in the lives of believers; it’s just not the difference of a better life now in all the ways we might want. After all, what did Jesus say? “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matt. 16:24). That means Jesus might make a difference in your marriage by giving you the grace to persevere with a spouse who no longer loves you. He might bring love, joy, and peace to your home by making you an agent rather than a recipient of those things. He might give you renewed purpose at work by changing your attitude rather than your job description.

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