What we [elders] do outside the formal time together matters, some elderships meet for a meal before they meet formally. Others plan retreats or walking days or something else that will grow relationship and enable care and pastoral support of one another. It is something we skip at our peril.

From Acts 20 we saw Paul commission the elders in Ephesus to do 4 things.  Let’s work through those 4 tasks that an elder is to do and think about how we do them.  Then we’ll move on to how we can do it better in subsequent posts.

Paul assumes elders will be involved in one another’s lives. that they will be open with one another and will be caring for one another in every area of life. But let’s be honest that is hard isn’t it? What’s the first thing that happens after the fall? Adam and Eve cover up because they feel shame and we’ve all been doing it ever since. We do it when we are dating, where we act more like a dodgy second hand car sales man than anything else, presenting the good points and minimising the down sides. And we can do it in church especially as leaders—the masks go on, the walls go up, and we pretend we’re ok.

When someone asks how we are what’s your natural response? ‘Ok’ or ‘Fine’ or some variant on those half/untruths. That can be the case when elders meet too. We may ask how each other is but we’ve learned the pat response and we give it.

As an aside I’ve started tweaking the question after seeing someone else ask this. Rather than ask ‘how are you?’ I ask ‘what percentage are you?’ It never fails to make people think, and sometimes people who have answered fine to the how are you doing question, pause, think and say I’m about 60% to the percentage question. That opens up a better conversation.

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