In an increasingly relativistic culture, it is imperative that we remain committed to God’s truth. It is an indispensable asset and a precious commodity—one that transforms our minds, increases our wisdom, affects our speech, guides our steps, anchors our emotions, equips our ministry, and informs our worship.

Speaking the Truth in Love

Among the characters in Disney’s 1989 animated film The Little Mermaid is a seagull named Scuttle, whom Ariel mistakenly considers an expert on humans. Scuttle explains the functions of various manmade trinkets; for example, he identifies a fork as a “dinglehopper,” which he says humans use to straighten their hair. Demonstrating how he thinks the fork is supposed to work, he says, “Just a little twirl here and a yank there and voila: you got an aesthetically pleasing configuration of hair that humans go nuts over.”

On occasion, I may or may not have been reminded of this scene when forced to tell one of my growing daughters, “Stop putting that fork in your hair.” In response, none of my daughters has ever asked, “Should I not comb my hair?” or “Should I never use a fork?” And with good reason. They instinctively know I have nothing against fork usage or combing hair.

The point of my command is not that hair combing is unimportant, or that forks are useless. The point is that forks should be used properly. As useful as they are, forks don’t lend themselves to creating an “aesthetically pleasing configuration of hair,” no matter what Scuttle says. That’s not what they were designed for.

Similarly, those of us in the body of Christ can use truth improperly. We can mischaracterize, minimize, or overemphasize its role. And in so doing, we wield truth contrary to how it was designed to function. The result is, shall we say, a “morally unpleasant configuration of haziness that makes humans act like nuts.”

There are, unfortunately, many ways we can do this. Let us look at three examples.

1. Equating Truth with Love

The command to speak the truth to our neighbor (Ephesians 4:25) is different from the command to love our neighbor (Leviticus 19:18). The two are not synonymous, just as combing hair and using a fork are not synonymous. Obedience to one command does not equate to obedience to the other.

And yet, there are those who have conflated truth and love, imagining that it is inherently loving to speak truth to someone. Thus, the more you speak the truth, the more loving you are. However, love knows there are times when it is better to listen rather than to share truth, and even to overlook a wrong rather than confront it with the truth (Proverbs 19:11). There are occasions where we just need to pray and let God do the talking to the other person. It takes wisdom to know when and how to speak, and when to remain silent (Proverbs 15:23, 25:11; Ecclesiastes 3:7b; Amos 5:13).

One functional effect of the “truth equals love” paradigm is the devaluing of love, as if it were an automatic appendage of the truth, achieved effortlessly as long as truth is spoken. If that were the case, one might expect Jesus to summarize the law of God as “truth.” Instead, he summarizes the entirety of God’s law as “love” (Matthew 22:40). Paul echoes this sentiment when he says the law is “summed up in this word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” (Romans 13:9).

It is important both what we say (the truth) and how we say it (with love). We cannot separate the what and the how and imagine that only the what is of consequence. Motives and methods matter just as much as our message. The wrong methods won’t fly under God’s radar simply because they are attached to “the truth.”

Let there be no mistake: one can speak the truth and be unloving at the same time. That is why the apostle Paul encourages us to always be “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). If we don’t speak the truth in a loving way, we will forsake “building up the body of Christ” (v. 12) and instead act like “children” (v. 14). Love is designed to guide and direct our use of the truth so that we communicate effectively and redemptively.

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