God is the one who created grace because he knew we would need it. It is his to give, not ours to discover within. What you will discover when you receive grace from God and not dispense it to yourself, is that God is far more generous and thorough with the grace he gives than we could ask or fathom. There is no lack of grace to receive; God offers us an overflowing serving every day: with bottomless refills!

My friend was lost. Over cups of coffee, he shared what had been bottled up inside of him for months. It was hard to figure out which came first, his depression or his spiritual spiral. Secret porn and drug addictions were now coupled with a full-blown affair, culminating with his wife demanding that he move out. He was confused and hurting, hard-hearted and spiritually blind. “My girlfriend tells me I just need to give myself grace,” he shared.

“Give yourself grace” has become a common refrain in our culture. A friend might encourage us to give ourselves grace when we forget a workout, miss a deadline, or drop the ball relationally. The encouragement comes from a heart of kindness for our friend, but it has the potential to misdirect our hearts.

Don’t “give yourself grace.”

I’m not encouraging us to demand more of ourselves. I’m not urging us to turn from the gospel of grace to law, but I am encouraging us to consider where we turn for the source of grace. The source of grace is never ourselves. It is always God. 

The most common definition of grace is that it is “unmerited favor.”

John tells us that it is from Jesus “we have all received, grace upon grace.” The word picture John uses has us imagine an overflowing fountain, its water spilling over its rim and flooding the landscape. “For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” (John 1:16). What a picture! Imagine a family in the backyard on a summer’s day. A joyful child squeals with delight as he sprays his family with the hose running full blast. This is what Jesus does with grace. The pent-up grace of God sprays full blast over his creation as Jesus comes. His grace overflows. Again and again in his letters, Paul reminds us that grace comes from the Father and the Son (see 1 Cor. 16:23, 2 Cor. 1:2, Gal. 1:3, Eph 1:2, Phil 1:2, Col 1:2, 2 Thess 1:2, 1 Tim. 1:2, Titus 1:3, Phil. 1:3).

This fountain of grace is even better. We might think that Jesus’s hose of grace is kinked when he encounters us in our sin. On the contrary, he smiles and turns the spigot up even more! Paul says, “Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more” (Rom 5:21).

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