The one thing you’ve probably learned from these little vignettes is that life is never dull in Cyprus. It’s a country filled with both passion and pathos, and it often plays itself out in ordinary life…such as having your neighbor’s swimming pool blown up by a bomb.

“Bomb!!??” you’re probably saying to yourself. Yeah…a bomb. Which, believe it or not, is a fairly ordinary part of life around here. Folks use them to signal their displeasure with something you’ve done or failed to do. Such as not paying your gambling debts, opening a convenience store or betting parlor on someone else’s turf, and/or even reporting someone for dumping their garbage on your property.

For the most part they’re harmless – and limited to destroying property: like a car, a mail box…and on the odd occasion a swimming pool. The only ones that ever cause grievous bodily harm are usually planted by mobsters from eastern European countries trying to eliminate mobsters from the same…or another…eastern European country. Those usually make the news…while the garden variety, blew up the pool kind, seldom do.

The one in question targeted someone living across the street from a member of our congregation. Let’s just say the noise interrupted their night’s sleep…as well as for most of the folks at the US embassy…because most of them live in the same neighborhood…and then they spent several hours waiting for some sort of notification from the embassy…which never came, because guess what: it really was just a routine, run-of-the-mill bombing. So my folks at the embassy (just over 40% of my congregation) got little sleep and none of them made it to church the next morning.

As bad as this may sound, don’t get the idea that this is a lawless frontier…it’s not. They just settle their differences in a distinctly different way than we would in the west. To be honest, this is one of the safest cities I’ve ever lived in. It’s not unusual for us to walk home from dinner or a movie late at night without giving it a second thought. But you know you’ve been here a while when someone new says “They blew up my neighbor’s pool!” and you simply and nonchalantly answer, “Yeah, so?”

Despite the vigilante justice…this is still a place where the church (the Orthodox Church that is) reigns supreme, and religious holy days are also national holidays. Although Christmas is an important holiday, it’s only part of the much larger Christmastide which runs through January 6th. Although most families now open gifts on Christmas Day, many still celebrate the arrival of Ayia Vassilis (Cyprus’ version of Santa) on either New Year’s Day or Epiphany. Part of the New Year’s celebration is to bake and serve a special New Year’s cake: a vassilopita with a coin in the middle. When the cake is served whoever gets the coin hidden in the cake will have a blessed year.

Christmastide officially ended yesterday (Friday, January 6th) with Epiphany. Originally the focus of Epiphany was on the Magi’s visit to the infant Jesus, and their exaltation of Him as king, but over the centuries the church has used it celebrate the simultaneous manifestation of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit at Jesus’ baptism.

Normally Epiphany begins with celebration of the Divine Liturgy, and then processes to the nearest body of water to recall Jesus’ baptism and to “Bless the waters” through the “Baptism of the Cross”…which entails the priest/bishop tossing a pretty good sized crucifix in the water so that the winter seas will not be as turbulent as they normally are. After which, all the men in the congregation dive in after the “baptized” cross so they can experience special blessing in the coming year. (Imagine what kind of year you’d have if you found the coin in the vassilopita AND got the cross on Epiphany!)

It’s easy to picture doing this in Cyprus…it was 63-degrees yesterday. A bit brisk, but doable none-the-less. Now imagine doing that somewhere in Eastern Europe or Russia in the Dneiper, Volga, Tuzla rivers. Brrrr! (Braver men than I!) Afterwards – at least here on Cyprus – everyone heads home for a big feast with family and friends to celebrate the day.

Here’s a question for you: What do three Americans, three Russians, three Bulgarians, three Philippinos, three Romanians, two Iraqis, and someone from Cameroon have in common?

Answer: They’re all in the same Greek language class together.

After failing to get into last year’s class, Cindy and I got into this year’s government sponsored Greek language class. And despite what all my seminary educated friends might think – 2,000 year old Koine Greek is nothing like 21st Century common Cypriot Greek. So all that wonderful work in Greek has only had one dividend – I can at least recognize the Greek alphabet.

The letters aren’t even pronounced the same. For example: It’s not alpha, beta, gamma, delta; it’s actually alpha, veeda, gamma, velda. And “auto” isn’t pronounced “owtoh.” It’s pronounced “aftoh” or “avtoh”. Then you get to throw in all the ordinary greetings like “hiarete,” which is one of several informal ways to say “hello, good morning.” But in this case it has to be after 10, but before noon.

So once again I’m suffering (along with my wife) through a whole new set of nouns, verbs, adverbs, etc. If we actually manage to pass the test at the end of the class we can move on to Phase II…and eventually Phase III. Feel free to pray for my less than stellar language skills…I can use all the help you (and Rosetta Stone) want to give.

Well that’s about it from a very rare, and dreary, day in Cyprus. I hope all is well where you are, and that your New Year will be blessed – without having to dive in to some rather frigid waters to ensure it.

From the edge of Byzantium, kalispera kai avtio,

Terry Burns is a PCA minister and member of the Presbytery of the Blue Ridge. He is ministering WAY out-of-bounds as the Pastor of the independent Nicosia Community Church in Cyprus. He writes an occasional dispatch for the folks back home. Email him at [email protected]