Men in the Body of Christ need women in the Body of Christ, and vice versa. From our secure foundation as sons and daughters of the Most High, we are free to relate to each other without suspicion for the mutual work of building up the Kingdom. As Paul valued and used his sister Phoebe, who was no biological relation to him but his sister in Christ who valued the work of God’s kingdom and was equipped to aid in it, may sons and daughters of the Most High value their spiritual siblings and work in unity for the glory of God.

God created two genders when He made humans in His image, and He clearly intended these two genders to work together in His Kingdom. I have been burdened for some time about problems in male/female relationships in the Body of Christ, particularly about how evangelical ministries disciple the two genders to work out this truth. I have experienced healthy relationships across genders, but I’ve also experienced unhealthy ones. Unhealthy relationships keep the Body of Christ from working as God intended, and I would like to spend the next three posts on this blog discussing this. I hope you will consider my points and enter the discussion with me or with others in your area of influence.

This first post will set up a simple Biblical foundation for male/female relationships in the Body of Christ and then look at healthy ones. The next two posts will focus on two particular disabilities, the first between men and pretty women and the second between men and “desperate” women. These are broad generalizations, but I hope they’ll get us to start thinking through male/female interactions in the Church so we can affect change with a discerning eye. Though we have some ugly defaults we go to in male/female relationships in the church that need to be explored, I hope that starting off with a look at good and healthy relationships will be encouraging.

What was God’s purpose in creating two genders to work together to image Him out into His kingdom? For a time, conservative evangelicals simplistically set up marriage as the ultimate purpose for the creation of two genders, particularly around Genesis 2:18.

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

However, if you embrace Jesus as the key to understanding all of Scripture, then Jesus’ words on marriage in eternity give us necessary clarification on the purpose of the creation of two genders in Genesis 1 and 2. God’s purposes for interactions between the two genders in this first sinless perfection in Eden is informed by glimpses of the second. In Luke 20, the Sadducees ask Jesus a question about whose wife in heaven a woman would be if she had multiple husbands on earth. In His answer, Jesus is clear that in heaven we do not marry. (Actually, we do marry, but Jesus is the groom.) Jesus teaches us that the ultimate goal in perfection for men and women is not human marriage to each other.

But then, what is left for perfect male/female relationships if not human marriage? Well, a TON is left. But we are warped as a society away from valuing the vast wealth of human male/female relationships that don’t involve sex. 

Man and woman were created for a variety of relationships – marriage is certainly one primary form of relationship, but it is not the only one.

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