Nowadays, it is very rare for people to grow up in a stable home and to receive a decent education. It is even rarer for people to have exemplary role models or to have even a rudimentary understanding of the Bible. Most everyone in our culture has significant emotional, familial, financial, and even physical baggage. By and large, this baggage is still there even after a person gets converted and comes into the church.

When I was a Southern Baptist pastor, all I heard about was discipleship. It was their “thing,” almost to a fault. When I moved into the Reformed world, I never heard anything about discipleship. Perhaps my experience is an anomaly but gauging from some conversations I’ve had with a variety of people in the Reformed community, I doubt it. At the very least, it merits a little investigation and assessment.

For example, is your church intentional about discipling its members, especially the new converts, the less mature, or those who are new to the Reformed faith? Is your church patient with the development and growth of those more difficult or trying? Is your church active in training up men in the way Paul prescribed to Timothy: “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also” (2 Tim. 2:2)? Are the women intentionally “teaching the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Tit. 2:3-5)? Maybe you could answer yes, but I know for myself, there is serious room for improvement.

To help address such an issue, I have compiled a list of eight generic mentoring or discipling questions you can use when meeting with Christians 1-1 or in a small group. These questions assume that the person you are discipling professes Christ and understands the gospel at least at an elementary level. If not, you should start there. These questions can be asked weekly, bi-weekly, or however often you meet. They are not meant to be exhaustive, but rather to serve as a guide. 

Are you reading your Bible? What are you learning? Is there anything you don’t understand? (Get him on a Bible reading plan for accountability & consistency.)

How’s your prayer life? Has God answered any of your prayers this week? Recently?

Where is God showing you sin in your life? Where do you need to grow? What are some temptations you’re facing? What part of your old life do you feel is hardest to leave behind? What do you want to see changed? Let’s pray for this right now.

Where has your walk with Christ been evident this week? For example, where have you seen victory over sin? Faith in the midst of trials?

Have you shared the gospel with anyone this week? Who are some people in your life you’d like to see saved? What are some ways to see this happen?

What’s the most challenging thing in your life this week? Recently? Let’s pray about it right now.

How are your relationships with others going? At work, in the home, on social media, in the community?

Where do you see yourself in 6 months? 12 months? 5 years? What are your spiritual, family, & material goals? How can you get there?

The Reformed church has many obvious strengths. We prize robust theology, confessions, and historic Christianity. We are committed to church discipline and the regulative principle of worship. We deeply care about how we approach and think about God. These are all to be commended.

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