The broader culture insinuates that sex is hardly different from other physical actions like working out or eating, but the Bible teaches us there’s much more going on (1 Corinthians 6:12-20). The unity between marriage partners in sex points to the new covenant unity enjoyed between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32). The bliss we experience in the marriage bed points us ahead to the bliss we’ll experience at the marriage supper of the Lamb.

I eagerly answered the phone when I saw my pastor friend calling. After catching up for a minute, he got to why he had called: “My church is organizing a regional men’s retreat. I’d like you to teach a session about sex.”

I got quiet on the other end of the line. Then I began to laugh.

“No, I’m serious,” he explained. “Our men need to be discipled by the Word in this area of their lives.”

A few months later, I stood in front of about 80 men and opened up the Word to show them four basic, crucial truths God has given us on the topic of sex – sex has parameters, isn’t just physical—it’s spiritual, it’s a good gift from God, and He designed it to bless my spouse. The reaction of the men afterward floored me. It was like I had opened the floodgates. Married men, single men, young and old, told me they hear about sex so often now from the world but not enough in the church. They were grateful to discuss it openly, without shame, and within a biblical framework.

Since that experience, I began to look for ways to bring teaching about sex into our church deliberately. Eight years ago, the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage across our nation changed our culture. Sexuality is discussed more often in the news, school classrooms, movies, social media, and politics.

In the past, many pastors didn’t have a strategic plan to include teaching on sex in the regular teaching of their church. They may have intentionally brought it up in marriage classes or youth ministry, but they didn’t consider what the Bible says about gender, sexuality, and marriage important enough to include alongside doctrinal teaching.

Yet the early church did not see sex that way. Jude dealt with a culture much like ours, and he said that people who “pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ,” will receive condemnation (Jude 4). Denying Christ happens with false teaching about Christ, but denying Christ also happens with false teaching about sex.

Here are four ways we have the opportunity to bring light and truth to the confusion:

1. Show the Beauty of God’s Design

One reason we get nervous about teaching about sex is because we know that while it is a great gift from our Creator, sex is also abused, misunderstood, and sometimes a point of contention in marriages. While I am not advocating for being unnuanced, some of these concerns are not a problem when we focus on the bigger picture in our teaching, showing the beauty of God’s design. We are pastors, not sex therapists.

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