Did you think the “gay rights” crowd would stick around and “support you” for meeting their ransom demands? No, silly A&E, that isn’t how this works. The speech-controllers on the left are like a black hole. They can only suck you in and obliterate you. They’re like the devil — they ask for your soul and offer nothing in return.

Dear A&E,

I read that you are indefinitely suspending Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty after he quoted the Bible and said that the homosexual act is sinful. I get it, guys. I do. You punished the Christian guy for being a Christian because you got some angry emails from a bunch of whiny gay activists who lack the spine and maturity to deal with the fact that there are still people out there who have the guts to articulate opinions that they find disagreeable. In so doing, you’ve kowtowed to a pushy minority of vocal bullies who don’t even watch your channel, while alienating the fan base of the one show that keeps your entire network afloat.

Makes sense.

You’ve got standards, after all. You wouldn’t want to be associated with tasteless and inappropriate things. The people on Duck Dynasty can’t be allowed to run around being all Christian-like. It might ruin the reputation of the network whose other shows include Hoarders and Intervention — programs that invite viewers to gawk at drug addicts and the mentally ill for their own amusement.

Disney-ABC Television Group owns 50 percent of your network, were they involved in this decision? They must have been. They’ve got a brand to protect. They can’t allow a bearded right winger to spout beliefs. BELIEFS, of all things. The horror! We must shutdown beliefs, opinions, and ideas, and get back to the serious business of selling sex and debauchery to children. They can’t deal with these distractions, don’t they have another season of The Bachelor or Desperate Housewives or Trophy Wife to produce?

Good Lord, these militant neo-liberal thought police are better at brainwashing than I ever realized. They just convinced you to torpedo your own network. You guys just kamikazed yourselves. You just pulled the pin on the grenade and then put it in your pocket. This is incredible. Didn’t you see what happened with Chic-fil-A when GLAAD crusaders tried to shutdown an entire business just because they disapproved of the owner’s opinions? Don’t you remember that? I’ll refresh your memory: their “boycott” resulted in an enormous sales spike for the company, as millions of people like myself went out of our way to eat there just to ensure that the anti-free speech fools on the left didn’t win. A week after the anti-Chic-fil-A campaign began, their restaurants across the country were overflowing. It was, officially, the least effective boycott in the history of mankind.

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