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Home/Biblical and Theological/Cutting Off is the New Coming Out, and Parents are the Invisible Casualties

Cutting Off is the New Coming Out, and Parents are the Invisible Casualties

When a child–adult or minor–comes out as “trans,” the strong arm of the law steps in, and parents who do not comply with “transgender identity” will be cut off by the state.

Written by Rosaria Butterfield | Monday, March 23, 2026

LGBTQ+ movement has shifted its rite of passage from “coming out” to “cutting off”–cutting off of parents, of history, of reality, and sometimes even body parts. And that level of violence can only be sustained by rage. All of the made-up identities of LGBTQ+ celebrate such a cutting off. I regularly hear sad stories of adult children cutting off their Christian parents and claiming they have been “traumatized” by the biblical teaching of their youth. 

 

In 2014, Susan Stryker, an MTF transgender Professor Emerita of Gender and Women’s Studies from the University of Arizona, published an essay entitled “My Words to Victor Frankenstein above the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage.”[1] In it, Stryker declares, “I am a transsexual, and therefore I am a monster.” Stryker, identifies with the monster in Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel Frankenstein, whose war against his maker leaves a trail of carnage and death. Stryker seeks to detonate his “rage and revenge” against “the naturalized heterosexual order,” against “traditional family values,” and against the “hegemonic oppression” of God’s creation by sabotaging the distinctions between male and female. In his essay, he links three strategies for the LGBTQ+ movement to demolish the created order: 1 – Normalizing Visibility, 2 – Queer Public Performance, and 3 – Rage.

1 – Normalizing Visibility:

An early slogan of the LGBTQ movement was “If I Can’t See it, I Can’t Be it,” which necessitated the rite of passage of “coming out of the closet.” Coming out did two things: it normalized the gay experience (consenting adults just want what everyone else has!), and it re-normed the norm (nothing deviant here–we are just like any other minority group seeking civil rights; to protect us, you need to move the center to the left). Because coming out was meant to make homosexuality look wholesome, it did not aim at cutting off family relations. A supportive family of origin–as well as a supportive liberal mainline protestant church–was always welcome, and each helped advance the normalization of homosexuality.

2 – Queer Public Performance:

The Coming Out movement produced organizations like PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, which bills itself as the largest civil rights art project in history). Coming Out required a message (“sexual minorities” seeking civil rights) and a stage. The queer public performance worked–media representations, along with political activism, replaced sodomy laws with “marriage equality” in one generation.

Where was the church at this time (1988-2014)?

The Coming Out/Queer Public Performance Era gave Big Tent Evangelism a sense that dialogue could create common ground, and common ground could be missional. This pre-Obergefell world, what Aaron Renn calls a “neutral world,”[2] promoted the idea that homosexuality was more disability than sin. This mantra, with the help of evangelical naivete, morphed into a church-sponsored Gay Rights movement called ‘Side B Gay Christianity’, and it was as subtle as a serpent.[3] It shifted the meaning of homosexuality from God’s definition (found in Scripture) to man’s definition (found in personal feelings). Vocabulary changed from sodomy to same-sex attraction, from sin to suffering, and from repentance to acceptance. Instead of mortifying sin, “strugglers” were now asked to “steward” and “navigate” their same-sex attraction. Instead of calling for repentance, the church was called to accept and affirm.

3 – Transgender Rage:

 2015 was a watershed moment. Legalizing gay marriage in all fifty states and redefining the legal definition of harm by judicial fiat, LGBTQ+ became morally celebrated in the USA. The laws of the land now deny the foundation of the created order–the stable and distinct difference between male and female. Parachurch ministries eagerly jumped on board, chiding the church for its homophobia and redefining LGBTQ+ as a people-group, like the Ninevites or Gentiles.[4] The Side B Gay Christian parachurch organization, Living Out, provided a church audit, endorsed by the late PCA minister, Tim Keller, to guide churches into their homosexual normalization.[5] After Obergefell, Sexual Orientation, a man-made category of personhood, replaced the image-bearing of a holy God as our universal anthropology, and this put the gospel on a collision course with the laws of the land.

Not only does the law celebrate transgender rage, but so too does the United States government. Indeed, the White House fuels transgender rage. It honors March 31st as Transgender Day of Visibility, a national holiday founded in 2010. In 2023, this celebration came days after a transgender shooter opened fire in a Christian school, killing six people, and in the shooter’s manifesto she demonstrated that transgender visibility demands the blood of Christians.[6]

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[1] Susan Stryker, “My Words to Victor Frankenstein About the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage.” 2014. University of Pennsylvania Archives. https://www.sas.upenn.edu/~cavitch/pdf-library/Stryker_My_Words.pdf

[2] See Aaron M. Renn, Life in the Negative World: Confronting Challenges in an Anti-Christian Culture. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2024.

[3] See M.D. Perkins, Dangerous Affirmation: The Threat of ‘Gay Christianity,’ Tupelo, MS: American Family Association, 2022.

[4] For the most egregious example of this, please see the Side B Gay sexuality curriculum required by the parachurch ministry, Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ). Podcaster Jon Harris, from Conversations that Matter, has assembled a 30 minute montage of this atrocity. https://x.com/jonharris1989/status/1793642944400163017?s=46

[5] Living Out. org, Church Audit for LGBTQ+ inclusivity, January 12, 2021. https://www.livingout.org/resources/articles/65/how-biblically-inclusive-is-your-church-the-living-out-church-audit

[6] Matt Walsh, “The Truth About the Covenant School Shootung is Finally Coming Out. And It’s Exactly What we Thought,” Daily Wire, June 7, 2024.https://www.dailywire.com/news/the-truth-about-the-covenant-school-shooting-is-finally-coming-out-and-its-exactly-what-we-thought

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