“When we stood there getting married, I remember the preacher saying ‘For better, for worse; in sickness, in health.’ I was 20 years old and I thought, I wonder what ‘in sickness and in health’ means,” Darnly said. “I thought, he’ll have a stroke in 40 years; I can do that.” Sickness came in nine years. It never went away.

[Editor’s note: Larry and Darnly Motter are members of Village Seven Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Colorado Springs, Colo.]

Valentine’s Day for Larry and Darnly Motter came without flowers, chocolates, romantic dinners or other flashy displays of affection, just as it had for the past 39 years.

After Larry suffered a severe brain injury in a drunken-driving crash, he can’t remember to do the little things that most other couples have come to expect in their relationship.

There’s very little he can do on his own.

His wife doesn’t get hung up on roses. They celebrate a different kind of love: commitment.

“It’s a love that’s a decision. It’s a decision to do the best thing you can for somebody else,” Darnly, 68, says. “My whole goal my whole life was to make Larry the best he can be with what he has.”

“I’m still great,” Larry, 71, interjects.

Darnly likes the way he makes her laugh. His sense of humor has carried the couple through difficult years.

They were driving back from dinner at Larry’s parents’ house Feb. 13, 1977, when they were hit head-on by a 16-year-old drunken driver who had also recently used LSD.

Seat belts were not mandatory then and Larry didn’t trust them, despite their 3-year-old daughter telling him to wear one that night “because Big Bird said so.” Neither he, a pregnant Darnly nor their two sleeping children in the back seat were restrained when the crash threw their vehicle hard into a ditch.

The kids were fine. Darnly suffered broken bones, a concussion and double vision.

Larry lost his memories. He was 32.

“When we stood there getting married, I remember the preacher saying ‘For better, for worse; in sickness, in health.’ I was 20 years old and I thought, I wonder what ‘in sickness and in health’ means,” Darnly said. “I thought, he’ll have a stroke in 40 years; I can do that.”

Sickness came in nine years. It never went away.

“I used to think, ‘I can handle the next hour,’ or ‘I can do the next day,’ and I learned to live like that,” Darnly said. “Eventually, you decide you’re going to do it.”

Larry doesn’t remember life before the crash.

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