When you combine humility, conviction, and a sense of proportion, civility is the typical result. And that form of civility is anything but surrender. In fact, I’d argue that in the long run, it’s the path to ideological expansion, not retreat. It’s the path to becoming a reliable, trustworthy communicator. It’s the best way to get a hearing outside your tribe, and it still leaves room for righteous, necessary anger — while choosing its targets carefully.

America’s two great ideological tribes are in the midst of a similar conflict. It’s the battle over civility, and all too often reason, compassion, and grace are on the losing side. On the left, aggressive social-justice activists scorn engagement and dialogue as “respectability politics” and instead favor the shout-down, the boycott, and the online shame campaign.

On the right, online pugilists mock more mainstream or “establishment” conservatives as unwilling to do what it takes to win. They mock conservatives who refuse to make Trump-style attacks and decry Trump-style rhetoric as obsessed with “muh principles.” In the face of a ferocious Left, we just don’t have what it takes — or, as Milo Yiannopoulos said earlier this week in a long piece calling me “the most reliably frustrating person in conservative media,” we’re more prepared to “lose gracefully” than to “be seen as lacking in manners.”

First, let’s acknowledge that there’s more than a kernel of truth in these critiques. Civility isn’t always a virtue. There are times when injustice demands a dramatic response. The modern image of Jesus Christ as essentially the nicest person who ever lived is laughably one-dimensional. He compared the Pharisees to “whitewashed tombs.” Jesus cleansed the Temple “with a whip made out of cords.” He modeled grace and compassion. He also modeled righteous anger.

Moreover, it’s also true that calls for civility are often one-sided, manipulative, and made in bad faith. It turns out that each ideological tribe is often quite tolerant of the vicious voices on its own side and positively repulsed by anger in response. You see the double standard all the time. The same people who lament the angry voices on Fox News or talk radio will positively thrill to the latest Michael Moore documentary or make excuses for Democratic leaders who just can’t quite bring themselves to condemn Louis Farrakhan.

In fact, calls for civility are so frequently made in bad faith that it’s easy to get cynical. There’s perhaps no better example of public manipulation and bad faith than the cry from the left for civility after a deranged, evil young man killed six people in Tucson, Ariz., and severely injured Gabrielle Giffords. The shooting had nothing to do with politics, yet for days and weeks (even, it turns out, years), conservative Americans were told that their rhetoric had incited this deadly violence.

I was furious at the collective slander. I scoffed at the Left’s calls for civility. It felt more like exploitation than true lamentation.

So, yes, if you allow yourself to be convinced that kindness means silence, that compassion somehow requires you to cede the marketplace of ideas to other voices, or that (even worse) the very expression of your ideas is somehow hateful, then for you “civility” is surrender. If you would rather be seen as well-mannered than fight for your fundamental values, then you need to rethink your priorities.

Read More