When we find ourselves in difficult circumstances, the first question we should ask is, “Does my church still exhibit the three marks?” In other words, does it still preach the gospel, rightly administer the sacraments, and perform church discipline? If our answer is yes, then chances are we don’t have a really good reason for leaving. Intra-personal conflicts, for example, might make us uncomfortable, but they don’t rise to the level of legitimate biblical grounds for leaving a church.

It seems like far too many people treat relationships of all sorts as being disposable. As soon as they hit a rough patch of any sort they decide to pull up stakes, move on, and find a new relationship. This is especially the case, I believe, when it comes to church membership.

Rather than viewing one’s church membership as something closer to a marriage, they treat their membership like a health club. When the church does not meet their expectations, they start looking for the door. In this vein I think many in the church look at their membership with a product consumer’s mentality. The membership is all about receiving benefits and service.

Our attitude towards church membership should be closer to what we find in a Preview (opens in a new tab)marriage relationship rather than a health club membership.

A marriage is supposed to be nearly unbreakable. The Bible gives very few legitimate reasons for breaking a marriage vow. The words, “till death do us part,” captures the nearly unbreakable bonds of marriage. Now, while church membership is not a marriage, we should nevertheless treat our membership vows like a marriage vow. In other words, just because we hit a rough patch should not mean that we immediately look for the door.

When we find ourselves in difficult circumstances, the first question we should ask is, “Does my church still exhibit the three marks?” In other words, does it still preach the gospel, rightly administer the sacraments, and perform church discipline? If our answer is yes, then chances are we don’t have a really good reason for leaving. Intra-personal conflicts, for example, might make us uncomfortable, but they don’t rise to the level of legitimate biblical grounds for leaving a church.

When we find ourselves in a difficult spot, our first response should be prayer.

We should pray that the Lord would help us figure things out and bring reconciliation. If we always leave a church the moment we have conflicts, then we’ll never give ourselves the relational space to mend broken relationships. Mending broken relationships, I believe, is like mending a broken bone—the relationship will often come out stronger.

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