Would I allow a boyfriend and girlfriend to stay the night in a bedroom in my home? No, because I don’t want to condone the sexual sin of fornication. I only allow married couples to stay the night together in my home. I can apply the same logic to the situation with two homosexual men. 

When you have friends and family who identify as gay or lesbian, sometimes you find yourself in a dilemma. If a homosexual couple asks to spend the night, do you allow them? You want to be kind and welcoming, but your conscience is telling you that something is amiss by allowing them to sleep together in one of your bedrooms. What should you do?

Decades ago, I formulated a principle to help me navigate situations in which someone who identifies as gay or lesbian is making a request of me. I call it the “Principle of Consistency.” It has helped me navigate a whole host of situations in which I’m unsure how to proceed. Here’s the principle: Treat a homosexual the same way you would treat a heterosexual in a morally comparable situation. In other words, ask yourself, how would you respond in a similar moral situation if the person were heterosexual? Whatever your answer is in the situation with a heterosexual should probably be your answer with a homosexual. I say “probably” because it isn’t 100% foolproof. However, this principle is a guide to help you consider a request by way of analogy and helps handle many situations.

For example, I’ve had many Christian women ask me what to do about a female friend or co-worker who had expressed romantic interest in them. I ask them how they would respond to an unwanted request for a romantic relationship from a male friend or co-worker (Principle of Consistency). The usual response is to say they’re not interested and that they simply prefer to be friends. My advice to the Christian woman is to tell the female friend or co-worker the same thing: “I’m not interested. Let’s just be friends.” 

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