Some Christians have slammed the door on unsaved family because of bitterness over past hurts.  If we cannot model merciful forgiveness for unbelievers, who will?

In Muslim parts of Africa, fierce persecution rages against Christians, even betrayal from their own relatives.  But for those of us living in countries (like South Africa) that enjoy religious freedom, what if my unsaved family has not cut me off?  Should I ever cut them off?  

God’s Word shows that He loves for His salvation to spread through families – from Noah’s family saved with him in the ark, to the gospel reaching entire households in Acts, to an unsaved spouse or child “sanctified” by one believer in the home (1 Cor. 7:14), to sibling evangelism with Andrew bringing Peter, and James and John together following Christ.

Paul counsels us, “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity.  Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Col. 4:5-6).  How then can we “make the most of the opportunity” in witnessing to our lost loved ones?  Here are 10 ways we can build bridges to reach unsaved family for Christ.  (For my full audio seminar on this, go here.)

(1) Expect It

We should expect those who are “of the world” to behave worldly until God saves them.  Paul is emphatic that we are not called to go “out of the world”, but rather to remain a gospel witness (1 Cor. 5:9-10; cf. Jn. 17, ‘in the world but not of it’).  If we don’t tell them of Christ, who will?

(2) Prepare for Hurdles

Evangelising relatives is not like witnessing to strangers.  The emotional stakes are higher.  The history is longer.  The potential for misunderstanding runs deeper.  They have seen your inconsistencies.  They remember your past.  Familiarity indeed breeds contempt.  Even sinless Jesus had unsaved family who despised Him and were only converted years later (Jn. 7:5; Mk. 3:20-21).  

We must also work hard to avoid potholes, not letting them get us sidetracked on pointless controversies.  Whatever red herring they throw at us must eventually become a gateway for gospel witness.  My unsaved relative’s greatest need is not to share my political or economic opinions, but to know Christ.

(3) Show Them Christ

Our deeds must match our words.  Hypocrisy at home can undo years of faithful witness.  But humility, especially a readiness to repent and seek forgiveness, can powerfully commend the gospel.  Yes, the gospel requires words; yet your life is still your loudest message and a wordless witness (1 Pet. 3:1).

(4) Don’t Assume

Some assume their relatives are Christians because they are decent, moral, or religious.  They were baptised, attend church occasionally, or know the Christian lingo.  But none of these things guarantees a new birth (Jn. 3:1-8).  Don’t confuse familiarity with the gospel for genuine conversion (Matt. 7:13-24; see here for more, especially under #3 on true saving faith)

Many possess a form of godliness without its power (2 Tim. 3:5).

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