Fathers and mothers both need to have the flexibility that allows them to come to an agreement on rules and limits and clearly define them for the children. Doing so prevents the possibility of the kids playing one parent against the other. Our efforts to teach our children to obey both parents make it easier for them to obey God later in life when they are faced with making their own decisions.

Part two of a four-part series on fatherhood.

My dad was of the old school where a father was to hold himself above outward displays of emotion, especially where the kids were concerned. The father of old was to be above question regarding his decisions as well.

Don’t get me wrong; my dad was a Christian man, a good dad who provided for his family and treated everyone well, including the dog that he didn’t particularly like. But he thought his authority was better preserved by exhibiting an air of infallibility and avoiding outward displays of emotion. What I learned from his example is how not to make the same mistake. A biblical dad needs to be flexible by being willing to show how he feels and also willing to admit mistakes when he is wrong.

Fathers are to be flexible.

Paul writes: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

The Greek word Paul uses for “bring up” carries the idea of nourishing a child from the very beginning with tenderness and compassion. But you protest, “mothers are the natural nurturers!” Yes, that is true to some extent, but men are capable of learning the flexibility that the old school fathers of the past seemed to avoid.

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