Fairness encompasses each of these areas, so we must examine each to ensure we do not unfairly provoke our children to anger. When fathers find the proper balance in these areas, we demonstrate the kind of behavior that allows us to teach our kids the biblical principles behind them… Not only does it make life as parents easier, it also allows us the credibility to teach Christ to our kids.

I have three children, all girls, and for over twenty years my wife and I prayed for them every night. Our first prayers were for saving faith and later for them to marry Christian men. God has graciously answered those prayers.

A Christian father is the divinely appointed leader of his family.

The Bible tells us that salvation is by God’s grace through his gift of faith alone (Eph. 2:8-9; cf. Ps. 68:20). But we also read that faith comes by hearing the word of Christ (Rom. 10:17). It has been said that Christian character is “caught as much as taught,” so in light of these truths the importance of godly parenting becomes clear. Christian fathers are the divinely appointed leaders of their families; they are to raise their children in the truth of God’s word (Deut. 4:9; Prov. 22:6; Eph. 5:25, 33; 6:4; 2 Tim. 3:15).

This responsibility cannot be ‘subcontracted’ to Sunday school teachers or the youth group. Parents must intentionally school their children in sound, biblical Christian doctrine. The process is best done at home with regular family devotions led by the father.

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul identifies the father’s primary role in the spiritual training of children: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” When we look closely at this verse, we see four principles for every Christian father. They are to be fair, flexible, firm, and forthright as they raise their children. I invite you to join me in looking at these principles in detail in a series of four posts.

Fathers are to be fair.

Our verse in Ephesians says, “do not provoke your children to anger.” Most of us don’t intend to exasperate or cause our children to become angry, but we sometimes do—often unintentionally—by overprotecting them, favoring them (one over another), neglecting them, or verbally abusing them.

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