A husband cherishes his wife by highly esteeming her, by viewing her far above precious jewels (Proverbs 31:10; 29-30).   Cherishing goes far beyond seeing it as a duty, but it is a delight. The husband should regularly make his wife feel that she is the most precious thing in his life besides his relationship to Christ. He sends her “love notes,” expressing how thankful he is for what she does for him and the family.

This article is a brief summation of my larger work, which you can read and download here. I urge you to read the full work. It will be help you see all the biblical references and the elaboration upon the characteristics of biblical manhood.

This paper is designed to reach the Christian community. Our present American culture has a skewed view of what constitutes masculinity. Sadly, the Christian church has been infected by the poison of an unbelieving culture. You probably have heard the term, “toxic masculinity.” Our corrupt culture falsely applies the traits commonly associated with this term to the Bible’s view of masculinity; nothing could be further from the truth. This skewed understanding of Scripture, on one end of the spectrum, produces weak men; and on the other end, tyrants in the home and church.

Two passages explicitly reference being a man. The first is found in 1 Kings 2:1-3: “As David’s time to die drew near, he charged Solomon his son, saying, I am going the way of all the earth. Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man. And keep the charge of the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His ordinances, and His testimonies, according to what is written in the law of Moses, that you may succeed in all that you do and wherever you turn (Emphasis is mine).

The second is in I Corinthians 16:13-14: “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love (Emphasis is mine).  Being strong has nothing to do with impressive physical attributes, but obedience to God’s commandments. Acting like men is seen by constantly watching out for spiritual danger and constantly standing firm in the faith, which is a steadfast and unyielding trust in Jesus Christ as the central truth of the Christian gospel even amidst many temptations and opposition.  To stand firm implies a knowledge of God’s word and a conscious seeking to pattern one’s life after that word.

Biblical masculinity embraces a zeal for personal godliness, which means to have an intense and passionate desire to live a life in conformity with God’s word. It’s not marked by impulsive feelings but an active pursuit of God’s holiness rooted in the desire to honor the Lord.

Biblical masculinity exhibits a devotion to prayer. This is no casual or isolated acts of prayer only performed during times of crises. Colossians 4:2-4 admonishes us to devote ourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it. These verbs are present imperatives conveying a command to constantly pray. All the great men of Scripture were men of prayer.

Biblical masculinity exhibits a vibrant faith in God’s promises. God’s faithfulness is expressed in His promises, where we must exercise faith in those promises. This leads to courage or fearlessness because the godly male knows God’s special promise that He will never fail us or forsake us.  The great biblical maxim running throughout all of Scripture is: where there is faith there is no fear. Understanding this is life transforming, and is an absolute necessity for a man to lead his family.

Some biblical examples are: Abraham, Joshua, Caleb, Moses, David, Jehoshaphat, Hezekiah, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, Daniel, the apostles Peter and John, Paul and Barnabas.

Biblical masculinity affirms the male as leader in the home and church. God in His creation ordinance has ordained clearly defined roles for male and female.  He is the leader and she is the follower. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says: “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ”(Emphasis is mine).

1 Corinthians 11:7-10 emphasizes what Genesis says about woman’s creation:  “For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man, for man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake. Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. (Emphasis is mine).

This principle of male headship has great implications for the home and church. First, the husband and father is to lead his wife and children into godliness by consistent Bible reading and prayer. The wife is exhorted to be submissive to her husband (Eph. 5:22). The godly woman gladly submits to her godly husband who assumes spiritual leadership.

Second, only males are to lead in public worship. 1 Timothy 2:8, 11-15 states: “Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension… Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression. But women shall be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.”

Biblical masculinity takes the lead in teaching and child discipline in the home. The Proverbs are explicitly clear in demonstrating fathers as the instructor of his children in the way of righteousness. The godly father leads by example, watching carefully that he does not exasperate his children (Eph. 6:4).

Biblical masculinity shows boldness in maintaining biblical convictions. The godly man is not governed by his feelings but by fidelity to the Scriptures. His boldness is the expression of faith in a divine promise. When David slew Goliath, his boldness was rooted in a firm conviction that a sovereign God rules the universe and will vindicate His name. The three young Hebrew males who refused to bow to Nebuchadnezzar’s statue, Daniel’s refusal to not cease praying to his God were magnificent displays of a willingness to die for a righteous conviction. Peter and John refused to stop preaching Jesus in the streets of Jerusalem when threatened by the Sanhedrin. For what it’s worth, godly women are attracted to men who exhibit boldness in their convictions. She will view them as a man of integrity and faithfulness, which a godly woman highly values.

Biblical masculinity is diligent in his work, providing for his family. A young male, who wants to be married with children, prepares for the future; he prepares a house for a future wife with children. Proverbs 24:27 – “Prepare your work outside, and make it ready for yourself in the field; afterwards, then, build your house.” A man needs to be financially capable of supporting a wife and eventual children.

Biblical masculinity manifests itself in servant leadership, following the example of Jesus. This is one of the greatest aspects of being a man. Jesus demonstrated this to His disciples by washing their feet at the Last Supper, which Jesus said served as an example of what they should do to one another (John 13:10-17). Jesus rebuked His disciples for their arguments as to who was the greatest among them (Matthew 20:25-28) There’s nothing wrong wanting to be great in the kingdom of God, but greatness is through servanthood. The pinnacle of Jesus’ servant leadership is seen in His willingness to die on the cross in order to save His people from their sins.

Biblical masculinity exhibits humility which is closely associated with a servant spirit because the arrogant man will not normally assume a servant position. The Proverbs teach that with humility comes wisdom, honor and prosperity before the Lord. Destruction and dishonor goes with the proud, and the male who thinks it’s beneath his dignity to humble himself before others, particularly his own family, will be brought low (Proverbs 11:2; 16:5; 16:18-19; 18:12; 22:4; 29:23).

Biblical masculinity manifests itself and gentleness and compassion. Though these traits are normally seen in women, they are essential in terms of being a man. Jesus was gentle (Matthew 11:28-30). Church leaders are commanded to deal with others in a spirit of gentleness (Galatians 6:1;2 2; Timothy 2:24-26.). What we say is important, but how we say it is equally important. Our goal should be to persuade people to the truth of God’s word, not “browbeat” people.

Jesus was compassionate to the misfortunes of people, seeking to alleviate their suffering, and He was compassionate to those lost in their sins, encouraging workers to go into the field of harvest to save sinners.

Biblical masculinity nourishes and cherishes one’s wife. The husband is commanded to constantly nourish and cherish his wife as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Eph. 5:22-33). These verbs are present imperatives, stressing that they are ongoing commands for a husband. Any Christian male, who studies this portion of Scripture, will likely find himself often times woefully lacking. He may have the attitude, “I can’t do this.” And, in one sense he is correct because he can’t do this in his own strength; he needs the power the Holy Spirit changing his attitude and motivating him to do what God commands regardless of his feelings, regardless of how his wife is behaving. The godly male will evaluate his behavior in light of God’s authoritative word.  Yes, his wife may have been unsubmissive; she may have shown disrespect by her verbal comments; she may have given him the cold shoulder when she shouldn’t have, but this does not negate the standing divine command. After all, how did Jesus love His church?  Christ loved His church when we were still sinners! ( Rom. 5:8).  Love is self-sacrificing, and the husband has been called to a life of self-sacrifice towards his wife.

A husband cherishes his wife by highly esteeming her, by viewing her far above precious jewels (Proverbs 31:10; 29-30).   Cherishing goes far beyond seeing it as a duty, but it is a delight. The husband should regularly make his wife feel that she is the most precious thing in his life besides his relationship to Christ. He sends her “love notes,” expressing how thankful he is for what she does for him and the family. I can assure you that this will bring a godly wife to tears, and she will hide away that precious love note in her desk, probably bringing it out occasionally to rejoice in it.

A Husband nourishes his wife by being her spiritual leader, doing everything he can to see her grow in godliness through the word of God.  He leads her in prayer and Bible study.

A husband that manifests these qualities of cherishing and nourishing will find a happy and loving wife. Since woman was made for man, and not man for woman, a wife that experiences such cherishing and nourishing will follow this man to the ends of the earth. She will most gladly submit to such a godly man. Her heart yearns for this kind of man, and when she finds him, she rejoices.

John M Otis is retired from 40 years of pastoral ministry, but he still carries on an extensive writing ministry.  Lately, he has chosen to devote the remainder of his life to evangelistic endeavors. He has started a new ministry called Triumphant Gospel Ministries, which is an independent ministry.