We are so over-exposed to violence these days that it is easy to become numbed to it. It is easy for our children to become so accustomed to acts of violence that they are lulled into believing that these things are normal. The truth is, we need to help our children recognize that violence is not something to be celebrated or championed – it is a result of living in a fallen world. 

I am mom to four teenaged boys. Two have seen the Charlie Kirk shooting, two have not. As a mom, as a Christian, and as one who has a Masters in Counseling, the fact that 60% of children have watched real world acts of violence on social media is both concerning and alarming.

As parents, what is both our calling and our responsibility as we shepherd our kids through the ever growing culture of accessible violence via social media? How do we help our kids process these things? As I consider my own children and engaging them in this battle, five things come to mind.

1. It Is Normal to Be Curious

We can begin by affirming in our children that their curiosity about current events is normal. It was not Eve’s curiosity about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that was sin; but her curiosity opened the door to sin.

God has made us to be curious creatures. Our curiosity can lead to beautiful things like learning to wonder about God and his creation, stronger and healthier relationships, greater creativity, among many other beautiful and good things. Our curiosity can also lead us to view and do things that are not pleasing to God. God has put safeguards in place for our good.

As we talk with our kids, affirm in them that God has designed them to be curious and this is a good and beautiful thing. At the same time, warn them that their curiosity is a gift to be tended and not a hunger to always feed. It may be that they are curious about what they are hearing from friends or in their social media feed. As they navigate wisdom, encourage them to consider a few questions before they engage their curiosity.

• Why am I wanting to watch this?
• Am I considering what is both pleasing to the Lord and also what is good for my heart and mind?
• Am I simply wanting to understand what everyone else is viewing and would there be value in me watching this?

2. Consider How What You View Is Affecting Your Brain and Heart

When we see something alarming, it is often our tendency to try to move past it quickly; to shove it down into our subconscious and try to pretend like it was not seen. We may also go back to the event and watch it over and over, hoping in some way that rehearsing it and reviewing it will bring resolution.

Without realizing it, our brains can develop a compulsive cycle of seeking out scenes that evoke emotion. Beyond that, our brains are made to rehearse what we have seen. It does not matter if we believe that our brains can handle excessive trauma; the truth is that the brain structure itself is altered as we view more and more traumatic scenes. The areas of our brains that help us survive are triggered to over-react and the areas of our brains that are wired for emotional regulation and memory are weakened.

There is research around the attacks on 9/11 and evidence shows that those who watched more news coverage of the attacks were up to four times more likely to experience symptoms similar to PTSD than those who did not watch as much news. As much as we want to believe that our minds and brains are resilient and can handle endless views of violence, science shows that this simply is not true.

Beyond that, Scripture encourages us to think on “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Phil. 4:8). There must be an active choice to both view and think about the things that God tells us will be best for us.

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