Several years ago I was having lunch with John Travolta, and I asked him the secret of his success. His answer? Awesomesauce. Now, it turned out that awesomesauce was actually a reference to cocaine, so that doesn’t really help us here, but the principle remains the same. It sounds like your sermons are distinctly lacking in the awesomesauce category. If I were a betting man – actually I used to be a betting man until I lost my life savings in a pyramid scam – I’d bet that people nod off, fall asleep, and play fantasy football during your sermons. Did that sting a little? That’s what I thought.

Tyler Hawk is the Lead Visionary Imagineer at Saddlevation Summit Church. He is the best selling author of The 42 Indispensable, Undeniable, 360 Degree, Risky Laws Of Leadership and Crazy Wild: Doing Ministry On The Bleeding Edge. He has 4.5 million followers on Twitter and regularly speaks at conferences such as Catalyst, fUEl, and ReLiveinate. Tyler has kindly agreed to answer your questions about leadership.

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Dear Tyler,

I’ve been a pastor for about a year now, and I’m still trying to figure out how to preach. I’ve read a lot of books on the subject, and listened to a lot of preachers, but I still feel like I’m missing that one magical ingredient. You are a guru on the subject of preaching, having self-published over 300 short e-books on the subject. Please help me out. How can I improve my preaching?

Sincerely,

Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

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Dear Looking,

Is guru the right word? I’m not sure. It seems like “Sensei” or “Grand Master” might be more appropriate. Those are actually the words on the preaching diploma I have mounted on the wall in my office. But you’re right: I am a highly sought after preaching consultant. In fact, just last week I was in Vatican City giving the Pope a few pointers on effective delivery (I suggested that he lose the hat and use more physical humor).

Several years ago I was having lunch with John Travolta, and I asked him the secret of his success. His answer? Awesomesauce. Now, it turned out that awesomesauce was actually a reference to cocaine, so that doesn’t really help us here, but the principle remains the same. It sounds like your sermons are distinctly lacking in the awesomesauce category. If I were a betting man – actually I used to be a betting man until I lost my life savings in a pyramid scam – I’d bet that people nod off, fall asleep, and play fantasy football during your sermons. Did that sting a little? That’s what I thought.

So, how you infuse more awesomesauce into your sermons? Several suggestions.

COMEDY

What was it that made Jonathan Edwards so successful? It was his uncanny ability to string knock-knock jokes together. Billy Graham does a perfect impersonation of Chris Rock. D.L. Moody actually did a ventriloquism/evangelism act. John Piper has his classic, “Did I do that?”, line. History has proven again and again that salvation and comedy go hand in hand.

My guess is that you spend hours every Saturday night trying to perfect your sermon. You should be spending hours working on your, “Your deacon is so fat…” routine.

AN IMPRESSIVE PULPIT

Studies have shown that an impressive pulpit can actually improve sermon quality by 42.7% (I personally commissioned Buzzfeed to do the study). After reading this study, I immediately pushed for a $6,000 pulpit renovation at Saddlevation Summit Church. As a result, I now have a 64 foot high pulpit, from which I can zipline into a smaller pulpit, which has built in fog machines, t-shirt cannons, and a cappucino maker.

I cannot tell you how the new pulpit has revitalized my sermons. I feel so much more comfortable taking gospel-risks in the pulpit – risks that I never would have taken before, like calling out a guy on his butt-ugly sweater or telling a guy to dig a little deeper in his wallet during the offering (the height advantage from the pulpit makes this really easy).

You want better sermons? Build yourself a bigger pulpit. As it says in Proverbs, “If you build it, they will come.”

CLEVER PHRASES

The best preachers fill their sermons with clever, ear-catching phrases. Joel Osteen says, “If one dream dies, dream another dream.” Andy Stanley says, “People are not on a truth quest, they are on a happiness quest.” These clever turns of phrase bury themselves into the listener, sort of like a brain parasite but without all the terrible side effects. What phrases will you put into your sermon? Here are some suggestions that I just came up with off the top of my head.

• Don’t go chasing sinful waterfalls.
• The only thing to fear is fear itself. And mad cow disease.
• If you trust me with your kids, you should trust me with your money (yes, I know this sounds creepy, but just trust me on this one).
• Pain is weakness leaving the body. So quit complaining. Seriously, nobody wants to hear about your sciatic nerve.

CONCLUSION

You are standing at a pivotal crossroads. Your sermons can remain boring, uninspired, and totally devoid of life. Or, you can take your sermons to the next level. It’s your choice. Choose wisely.

Are you working on your stand up material?

This article first appeared on Stephen Altrogge’s website, The Blazing Center, and is used with his permission.