When my children come to me with splinters in their hands or feet, I always attempt to pull them out with gentleness and patience, knowing the discomfort the process brings. It requires a great deal of trust to let someone else poke around in a tender wound. In a similar way, correcting a child’s wrong behavior requires gentleness. As we dig around in the sinful places of their hearts, it’s helpful to consider how we would want someone to do the same for us.

Years ago I attended a parenting class focused on encouraging obedience in our homes. The following general expectations were highlighted:

1. Obedience should be immediate.

2. Obedience should be complete.

3. Obedience should be with a joyful attitude.

I sat in the classroom staring at the board in contemplative silence. Truthfully, I wasn’t thinking about my children’s obedience. I was thinking about my own.

The standard of obedience I was to enforce for my children was much higher than the standard of obedience I typically apply to myself. When faced with the various tasks the Lord has given me for the day, I can be slow to obey. (Let me just check Facebook one more time before I write that article.) I can leave jobs incomplete. (Please don’t look in my mud room when I’m hosting a party.) And I can often approach my work with a less than joyful attitude. (God doesn’t really expect me to clean my toilet joyfully, does he?)

Let me clarify, the standard given in the class wasn’t wrong. Jesus never lowered the standard so that we could meet it. He didn’t take away the law; he fulfilled it on our behalf. We shouldn’t lower the standard for our children, nor should we fail to correct their disobedience. However, we can be considerate of their need for patience and kindness as we enforce it.

Just as Jesus sympathizes with our weaknesses, our children need our sympathy as we call them to immediate, complete, and joyful obedience. We teach the standard so our children will understand their need of grace when they inevitably come up short.

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