In a culture marked by talking heads, Christians, in particular, need to be marked by a desire to listen and understand. Rather than turning people into arguments that need to be defeated, believers should take time to listen with patience and genuine concern.

If you were to turn on the cable news, you would likely see the news anchor with a person on her right and left. These two individuals would be discussing today’s hot-button issue, but they wouldn’t really be discussing. It’s more like talking at one another, a game scored on smug insults and sizzling one-liners.

Jump over to any social media stream, and you would likely see a similar phenomenon. Whether the issue is political, theological, or even personal, you will see hordes of people lobbing mischaracterizations and straw-man arguments across enemy lines. We live in a day that is more connected than ever; yet, true engagement—the type where people genuinely listen and consider alternatives—seems to be at an all-time low.

Simply put, our culture is characterized by poor listening. I don’t mean listening skills, like the ones taught in school, though we could probably stand to have a refresher on those. I mean a posture of humility that listens to understand before responding.

Stephen Covey gets at this skill in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He points out, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak.” Covey is spot-on here, so he argues for what he calls “empathic listening,” which is “not that you agree with someone; it’s that you fully, deeply, understand that person, emotionally as well as intellectually.”

In a culture marked by talking heads, Christians, in particular, need to be marked by a desire to listen and understand. Rather than turning people into arguments that need to be defeated, believers should take time to listen with patience and genuine concern.

Consider the gift of prayer. God has given us prayer as an act of love, where we experience the joy of bringing our requests to him while knowing that we are heard and understood. It communicates a sense of value and love.

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