Negative and positive answers can both rest on the same principles. “No” immediately turns people away. With the positive answer you not only can preserve your ecclesiological commitments, but you also encourage and disciple the questioner.

One of the most helpful pieces of advice I received was from a Scottish Presbyterian minister who said: “Always say yes.” He gave his advice in the context of a talk to future pastors and how to handle the various requests that come from people in the church. He recognized that Reformed churches had more requirements than other evangelical churches: catechism, formal church membership, accountability, and when necessary, even church discipline. Other churches have few such practices. Given these many requirements, he believed that Reformed churches had the tendency frequently to say no. He offered the following example:

“Can I have my child baptized?”

“No, you can’t. You’re not a member of the church. So I’m sorry, you can’t have your child baptized.”

He said that such a person would likely walk away disappointed and go to another church that would give him what he wanted. He told his audience there was another way to answer this question.

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