Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22

Dear Lord Jesus, I come to you right now with joy in my heart and knots in my gut. The joy’s about the exhaustive forgiveness I have in you. The knots are about the costly implications of that same forgiveness. As I pray for myself, I pray for others with the same struggle to love well in broken stories that just won’t seem to go away.

As you well know, Jesus, I ran into an old friend recently with whom I’ve shared a lot of life and no small heartache. That run-in was kind of like bumping a previously-broken-shin into the corner of a low-sitting coffee table. I winced with pain and wanted to scream. Even worse, I did harm to him in my heart. And that’s just as stupid as kicking the low-sitting coffee table.

Jesus, I thought I was over the hurt. I thought I’d already forgiven him from my heart. I thought I was already healed. I thought I’d dealt with this thing a long time ago. That’s just not the case. Out of sight might be out of mind but it’s not out of the memory bank of betrayal and loss.

So I come to you today for 77-times grace. I’m being held hostage by my own unforgiveness. Certainly the gospel is big enough and powerful enough to set me free.

So I humble myself before you, Jesus. I may never enjoy the gift of my brother’s repentance, at least this side of heaven… but there’s no justification for me tying my repentance to his.

I’m to forgive him as you’ve forgiven me. It’s as simple and as costly as that. No, I’m not to be a doormat, but I am to be a doorway to the miracle of reconciliation. By the work of the Holy Spirit, I ask you to show me what that will entail in these next several weeks. Some broken relationships are less complex than this one. Some are no-brainers, in terms of applying the gospel. But this one’s different.

Jesus, you’ve promised me all the wisdom I need, and I’ll take it. But I also ask you for a great measure of determination, strength and follow-through. Low-sitting coffee tables can morph into coiled rattlesnakes in time, and the venom of unforgiveness is just too toxic to ignore. Untie the knots in my gut with your liberating hands. So very Amen, I pray… we pray, in your redeeming and restoring name.

Scotty Smith is the founding pastor of Christ Community Church (PCA) in Franklin, TN. He now serves as Pastor of Preaching, Teaching and Worship. Additionally he serves as an adjunct professor at Covenant Theological Seminary and teaches at Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando. This article is taken from his blog, Heavenward, and is used with his permission.