I am bothered by it not because I’m old fashioned or because I am a busy body telling other people how to live. I’m bothered by it because this is not just a matter of what they think and even what you think or I think. I am bothered by it because there is a third party in this matter and that third party is God the Maker of Heaven and Earth…and He does not consider it acceptable! I care what He thinks!

A sermon preached at Cornerstone Presbyterian Church, Brighton, Michigan on May 20, 2012.  The text for the message was Mark 10:1-9 (NIV):

1 Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. 2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied. 4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” 5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

The Lord Jesus said these words: 7 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.”

Thirty two words. Remarkable…if we think about the millions of words that have been written about “Gay Marriage” in America in the last decade. Thousands of opinions from politicians to social scientists to gay rights advocates to liberal clergy and from conservative clergy….all arguing for their point of view. President Obama recently said that he supports gay marriage. He was both applauded and criticized. Christians disagree and sometimes vent their disagreements with each other in very combative ways. Many, many words.

It would be easy to become confused and even reach a point where some say there is no “correct” point of view. Or to simply give up and ask “Who can know the truth of this matter?” The truth? That is precisely the problem in a post-modern society that believes “truth” is a relative thing and quite malleable… some people even speak of “your” truth and “my” truth. So as Christians we sense that something is radically wrong. Can there be more than one truth on any moral issue? Clearly the evil one is celebrating this matter of gay marriage. And to be very direct it must be said that even Bible believing Christians are confused. The evil one throws in all kinds of sensible sounding ideas that muddle things even further. Such as the frequent comment we hear that “all sin is the same and sin is sin.” That is simply not true. The Bible speaks of sexual sin as particularly displeasing to God because it actually defiles the physical representative of his image! The Word of God says:

1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

How can we Christians who have been born again…true Christians…real Christians not in name only but people who have turned to the Risen Christ and who have the Holy Spirit of God living inside of them…how can we respond to the demands and claims of a society in which we are aliens and strangers…and in which even other Christians do not agree with simple and straightforward Biblical truth? And do we wonder at times if we are even sure of the “truth?” First…let us pray.

A Christian couple whom I know has a surprising and difficult and heart-wrenching story. It’s similar to other accounts we have all heard. They raised their children in a believing Christian home. Today those children are all fine young adults. Doing well in life. But one day, awhile back, a precious daughter came home and informed them that she was moving in with another young woman because she loved her. The daughter said she is a lesbian and would be planning a “gay marriage” of some kind. And she hoped that they would be there for that very special event in her life.

Where would you be if that happened to you? If you raised a son or daughter according to Biblical truth and they told you they are turning away from the teachings of the Word of God and going their own way? Not denying God exactly…just denying His righteous requirements? Who among us would not be devastated? Stunned? Hurt and angry? And think of this…if the parents go to the wedding they will be compromised in their Christian witness. They will feel manipulated into giving the appearance of approval. And they definitely do not approve and they do not want to be misunderstood. And maybe…the Bible-believing folks in their church will be puzzled. They might be severely criticized and that would yield even more heartbreak. But if they do not go, some people will call them narrow-minded, red-necked, ignorant and even vile bigots! After all, who are they to decide their daughter cannot find happiness in a homosexual relationship? So, either way they will be bruised and hurt. Why? Because as Christians they belong to Christ and they believe the Bible is the Word of God…and then they will experience the great discomfort of being radically misunderstood. But they take Jesus seriously, and they hear him saying:

Matthew 16:24 (NIV) 24 “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

We go to the cross to die. And it’s a dying experience to look into the face of a young adult that you have raised and loved and helped in every way and you must say “I’m sorry. But I cannot participate in your wedding event because I believe it is a sinful union into which you are entering.” And to make it worse, you might run into other Christians who will say to you “But is it?” Many Americans do not think so, including many Americans who say they are Christians.

A USA Today poll taken in May of 2012 says that 51% of Americans agree with President Obama’s decision to support gay marriage. And yes…some polls among church-goers indicate strong support for gay marriage. That is especially true among younger people both inside and outside of the church. Many people in their twenties and thirties are concerned with issues of fairness. Interesting that a majority is against abortion which is a good thing. But there are indications that at least a small majority of younger people even in the church support gay marriage. What are we to make out of all of this…beyond the reminder that following Christ can be painful as it was to the parents of whom I spoke. What are we to think and how shall we respond to people inside and outside of the church if this issue comes up? Let’s consider several points:

FIRST: GOD’S REVEALED TRUTH DOES NOT CHANGE!

The truth will never be decided by an opinion poll. If every single American believes that gay marriage is fine, it will still be unacceptable to God. It is likely that most citizens in the ancient world before the great flood thought things were fine but the Bible says Noah alone was preaching righteousness [2 Peter 2:5]. Count on it. The citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah were probably convinced that the depravity in their cities was acceptable. A few others were apparently pleading with God for judgment. But Heaven was not persuaded by the opinions of those caught up in their sin! Because the truth on this issue will not change.

Our title today is “A Christian Response to Gay Marriage.” On one level, I fear that I cannot suggest anything profound about how to interact with the unsaved world on this. Sure, we can support political candidates who remain traditional in their view. We can argue with the world that children need a Mom and a Dad. We can point out the health issues. But the world will argue back that we cannot prove those things and they will always be able to point to a gay couple that they know who have adopted three kids and everyone is doing well! No…we cannot talk the world out of its view because there is a deeper problem at work: we are living in a society that does not fear God and does not expect a Day of Judgment. We are living in the “No Fear” culture that thinks God, if he is there at all, is a sleepy old Deity who is not on the job. The best thing we can do to respond to the world is to pray for it and for those who see no harm in gay marriage. And we must pray for the church to be the church on Earth that Jesus intends it to be! We must live the truth as the church!

We remember that Jesus said he was “the truth” [John 14:6] and if we simply look at his words…we see the answer. Marriage means oneness as indicated by the joining of the flesh…man joining with wife. Yes, marriage is more than sexual union but that union is the God-given gift and seal of ultimate commitment and reserved for the martial covenant. And that union is masculine and feminine. Nature itself shows us how human bodies male and female come together. “Man united to his wife.”

Genuine Christians are instructed by the Word of God…but the culture at large is not. My main concern is the church. Some Christians try to re-interpret the age old teachings of the Word of God. Just as bad, some who call themselves Christians but are not truly saved try to speak for Christ himself…and they get it wrong. And then there is that mass of people these days who say they are “spiritual but not religious!” That is, they have an interest in some kind of vague designer spirituality that is not aimed up at God but aimed sideways at man…and so it values kindness and tolerance above all things. It has no God and it is unworried about the Judgment Day….but it is somehow “spiritual.” So, how are we to respond in the church to this great social and theological debate? And how might we respond to worldly people? Consider…

SECOND: ADVOCATES OF GAY MARRIAGE, INCLUDING MANY SERIOUS CHRISTIANS, THINK THEY ARE BEING KIND. AND THEY THINK THE CHURCH IS BEING CRUEL!

Again we do well to remember that advocates of gay marriage, even those who are not themselves gay, do not see the world thru Godly lenses. They do not have the mind of Christ which is just another way of saying they are not thinking God’s thoughts! For example…

A few years ago, a bright man who supports gay marriage asked me this question: “Richard…why would you object to a faithful and monogamous couple of the same gender…say two men…joining in marriage if that is what they want to do? If they are good neighbors and good citizens and contribute to society but they desire an intimate and recognized legal marriage…how would that harm you? As long as you are not bothered by it, why would you object? What would be wrong with a little ‘live and let live’ in the case of gay marriage. What’s your problem with it?”

From his point of view, that is a reasonable question. It’s almost as if he is saying “If your neighbor prefers tennis to golf…what do you care?” My response was this: “I am bothered by it not because I’m old fashioned or because I am a busy body telling other people how to live. I’m bothered by it because this is not just a matter of what they think and even what you think or I think. I am bothered by it because there is a third party in this matter and that third party is God the Maker of Heaven and Earth…and He does not consider it acceptable! I care what He thinks! But this is where the break down comes with worldly people and many people who say they are spiritual. The real offense of gay marriage is that it offends God and as children of God we are offended when He is offended! God finds it, according to the Word of God, to be “abominable!” Here we see that word in Leviticus:

Leviticus 18:22 (NASB) 22 “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”

An “abomination.” The Hebrew word “toy-ah-bah” that means abhorrent, disgusting and even nauseating. There is no polite or generous way to re-define the word “abominable!”

But this can be a good example of the hopelessness of trying to communicate with an unsaved person on this kind of issue. They look at us as if we are aliens and strangers. And we are! Because we bring God and His righteous requirements into this discussion and they are stunned at that! In the end, we are bothered by whatever bothers God! We must remember that in reasoning with unsaved people, we are like a group playing baseball. We see and we know there is an umpire watching but they do not. For them, God is not in the debate! There is no ultimate umpire!

But when some who call themselves Christians try to re-interpret the Word of God it is even more vexing. The Apostle Paul said one of the true characteristics of a Christian is this:

1 Corinthians 2:16 (NIV) 16 “For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.”

In other words we think as Jesus thinks and feel as Jesus feels and we analyze as Jesus analyzes and if Jesus is displeased at something we are too. And Jesus would never, ever be pleased at something that displeases and offends his Father. And yes, without any equivocation, the Word of God calls homosexual activity sinful.

It clearly does. Again, the Lord Jesus himself referred to marriage as the union of a man and a woman. He did not even bother to refer to homosexual union as marriage, and there was great deal of homosexuality in the first century world. Those who insist as Christians that the Bible does not condemn homosexuality are simply doing violence to the Word of God and kidding themselves; frankly, they are caught up in the darkness. The Word of God from Genesis forward shows males and females meant to be in marital union:

Genesis 1:27 (NIV) 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

This is a major component of being God’s image bearers…male and female. They live out a complete and perfect union that reflects the union of the Triune God Himself! Little wonder the Bible never speaks well of homosexual activity. It condemns it. By the time God gave Israel His laws in Leviticus…about 1400 BC, Israel was expected to behave as a unique nation and membership in it had very real requirements! As with any family, it had rules. Its rules were Divinely given. So, we read in the Law of Israel:

Leviticus 18:22-24 (NIV) 22 “‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable. 23 “‘Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion. 24 “‘Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled.

This touches on how the church must respond to those who would live in any kind of sin in an ongoing and unrepentant way. The Church of Jesus Christ is God’s community on Earth in a way very similar to ancient Israel. So, the Word of God tells us our first obligation is not to the individual but to the church…the Body of Christ…to keep it pure. Many Christians say something like this…and they mean well in saying it: “Instead of chasing active homosexuals out of the church, we should welcome them in because this is where they need to be!” Sure. I hope they visit and hear the Lord speaking to them. But ongoing participation in the church requires a commitment to Christ. The church is just not a gathering. It is the Body of Christ. Those who live in unrepentant sin must be confronted and, if need be, asked to leave!

We need to remember that the church is the family of Jesus on Earth. Families have rules! If I was homeless and needed a place to live, you might invite me to stay at your house. If I was a smoker you might tell me that in your house smoking is unacceptable. I would have a choice. You’d like me to stay but not as a smoker. Families have rules; the church is the family of Jesus on Earth. The church family has rules.

Contrary to what people like to say, we are called to judge sin and evil especially if it comes into the church. Here is a passage that is very unpleasant to many people even in the church:

1 Corinthians 5:9-13 (NIV) 9 I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people– 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11 But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. 12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.”

The evil one has blinded many in liberal churches and even some in evangelical settings. They dare to say that in the Old Testament homosexual activity was not condemned for moral reasons but for health reasons! As if it would be healthy today even though it was unhealthy 3500 years ago. Of course it is unhealthy! The Catholic Education Resource Center recently summed up the dreadful health situation among many in the gay community:

“Sexual relationships between members of the same sex expose gays, lesbians and bisexuals to extreme risks of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), physical injuries, mental disorders and even a shortened life span.” [The Health Risks of Gay Sex; John R. Diggs, Jr. M.D.]

Study after study has shown higher cancer rates and higher suicide rates among active gays and yet the mainstream media in America never even mention the problem. People who think they are being merciful and kind in accommodating homosexual behavior are actually engaged in the worst form of cruelty. They are inviting people into something that God is calling them out of!

To separate the health issue from the moral issue is nonsense. The very reason God says it is immoral is because it is unhealthy! In fact, the Word of God calls unrighteous sexual activity a defiling behavior and perversion! Consider that word for a moment: “perversion” … it is the Hebrew word for “unnatural use.” Even in English, we find the word “pervert” to be rooted in two Latin words: “per” as in “away” and “vertere” to “turn.” To turn away as in turning away from the truth or the intended purpose. Perversion is using something in a way that was never intended.

If I had to drive a nail into a board and if I had no hammer, I could use an expensive putter. That would eventually work…but I would ruin the putter. It would be a perversion of its intended design and use! Allow me to suggest that the designer and maker of that putter might be particularly disappointed and vexed! Thus, God the maker of humanity distains homosexual activity.

THIRD: WHAT THE GAY COMMUNITY REALLY WANTS IS TO BE TOLD THAT THE REST OF THE SOCIETY FULLY ACCEPTS THEIR LIFESTYLE AND THINKS IT IS FINE. THAT IS WHY THEY INSIST THEIR UNIONS SHOULD BE RECOGNIZED AS MARRIAGES!

Marriage between people of the same gender would mean recognition of a social and sexual union as acceptable to the society as much as a heterosexual union. And they want it called “marriage.” If all they wanted was a set of laws affording them greater partnership rights they could get a good lawyer and a good accountant and obtain many of them. They can set up health visitation privileges and financial covenants. But this is about homosexual activities being recognized as normal and an acceptable option for those who want it. They want it accepted and they want everyone else to see them as they see men and women who are married. And so they believe that this is a debate between citizens on both sides of the issue. But, once again, it is more than that.

They forget that it is God who labels things and God who shows us what is good and what is evil. One thing is certain. No matter how many laws are passed and even if all fifty states approve of gay marriage, it will never be a marriage in the sight of God. A law cannot change the essential meaning of something. Years ago, states passed laws saying it is acceptable to kill unborn babies. They call it abortion or termination of pregnancy but it is still killing an unborn baby. We can pass a law that says a piano is a bicycle but it will still be a piano. And if every single elected official eventually calls marriage between the same genders “marriage” it will not be. And it should be noted that if any government says the church must perform gay marriages or the clergy can be prosecuted, as has been suggested, you can all come and visit us in jail. Because we will be loving and Christlike but we will be the church!

And one last thing. I’ve been told homosexual desires are natural to these folks. I think that is obvious but it means nothing. We are all born with natural desires that are contrary to the laws of God because we are all born into sin. I am naturally covetous and I think my neighbor’s new white Lincoln should be mine. But he won’t agree to that just because I naturally desire it! The whole point is that God in Christ is calling humanity out of its “natural” sinful desires and offering him and her new life in Christ!

One last thought. We who believe the Bible to be the Word of God are constantly reminded…that we live in a society and a culture that does not share our beliefs. Therefore, we must be constantly prayerful not that we Christians will “Win the argument” but that God will open his storehouse of mercy and send revival to our nation. Such revival begins with repentance. Even as Paul encouraged Timothy [2 Timothy 2:25] to pray that God would “grant repentance” to those who opposed him. Surely our ways as a society are inviting severe judgment. And… our nation will only turn back to God if we spend more time looking up to Him in humble prayer…asking Him to give us the “gift of repentance.” Indeed, let us pray.

Dr. Richard J. Alberta is a Minister in the Evangelical Presbyterian Church and serves as Senior Pastor of Cornerstone Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Brighton, Michigan.  This text of a sermon preached on May 20, 2012 was published in the denominations web site, EPNews, and is reprinted with their permission.

[Editor’s note: the original URL (link) referenced in this article is no longer valid, so the link has been removed.]