Thank him for Christ and for the glorious example of self-sacrificial love that feels anger not over personal affront but only over the glory of God and the good of others. Thank him for being a God who feels both righteous anger and steadfast love. Then thank God for helping you to know more of your own heart. Thank him for answering your prayers for a clearer understanding of your own anger.

Heart Desires and Attitudes

The Bible has plenty to say about anger—not just our own anger but also God’s. Anger is an important emotion for many reasons. God’s anger is important because it reveals the holiness of our God. He is a God who will not tolerate rebellion and sin. Our human anger, on the other hand, is important because it reveals so much about the desires and attitudes of our hearts. The other reason our anger is important is that it is capable of doing so much harm. Here, we offer a checklist to help us identify and appraise our own struggle with anger.

Identify

Anger is often all too obvious; violent words or violent acts leave us in no doubt about the fury that is raging within. Yet even these obvious expressions of anger are often much more obvious to the outside observer than they are to the person actually experiencing them. Angry people often don’t believe they are angry. They just believe they are right. In others, however, anger is altogether more subtle. Anger is not expressed in raised voices or pointed fingers but in a myriad of other more socially acceptable ways. But it is still anger and still does damage. All of this makes the identification of anger a vital step. If we ignore our own anger or pretend it isn’t there or never even notice it in the first place, then it will continue unchecked, along with all the spiritual and relational damage that anger can do.

So let’s begin by reviewing the many ways anger can be expressed. Consider the list below. Which of the following are true of you? Where, and to what extent, are they evident?

• Resentment
• Bitterness
• Irritation
• Grumbling
• Sarcasm
• Indifference
• Critical spirit
• Competitiveness
• Abuse
• Envy
• Hatred
• Quarrelling
• Sulkiness

Use this list to construct a picture of your own pattern in relation to anger. Which of these expressions of anger are most common? In what context are they usually expressed? And who is usually on the receiving end?

Consult

Because all of us are prone to justify our anger, or even overlook it completely, the next step is to ask others. Consult those close to you and ask them where they see you expressing anger. Show them the list above and invite them to identify the top three expressions of anger that they see you display. Ask them in such a way that it is clear you are ready to listen. Promise them that even if they tell you things you don’t want to hear, you will not get angry with them. (And be sure to have spent sufficient time praying about this so that your promise will be true!)

Explore

Having begun to identify the typical ways and circumstances in which your anger is expressed, begin to ask the harder question. What is your anger about? What desire is being thwarted? What ambition is coming under threat? Is there a fear you are reacting to?

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