Marrying at a Young Age. You’re never going to be fully ready for marriage. So it’s OK to get married when you don’t have enough money or don’t live in the best circumstances. Love isn’t about this stuff anyways. The love that comes with marriage is about commitment and sacrifice, and if you feel committed enough to make marriage work when money gets tight, then go for it. Money should have no hold on the heart that’s committed, so stop pretending like it should.

I’m well into my twenties now, which means I’m all too familiar with the pressure to have life figured out. Family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and acquaintances from high school we stalk on Facebook all press us with the idea that we’ve got little margin for error in our twenties—that life should play out like a clear-cut script. But with each new year, I’m learning this is nothing but a flat out lie.

Truth is, no one has life figured out in their twenties. We’re all stumbling along and taking chances to pave the way for seasons of harvest in later decades.

Ironically, one of the mistakes we often make is fearing “mistakes.”

I’ve discovered something new with this fear, and it’s helping me tell a better story with my twenties. What others may perceive as “mistakes” might be the very things that shape us. This means we don’t have to fear getting it wrong as much as we do. What people see as mistakes can actually be the best thing for us.

Consider these few decisions that others may perceive as “mistakes.” But they’re not.

1. Not Having a five-Year Plan

People can make you feel guilty for not answering the question of “Where do you see yourself in five years?” with a definite answer. Yet, the reality is no one has a clear idea for how the future is going to look.

Holding our future with open hands doesn’t destine us for failure. It can just mean we welcome and embrace the natural spontaneity of life.

2. Ending a Relationship With Someone People Expected You to Marry

Just because you’ve been with a person for a significant amount of time doesn’t necessarily mean you should settle down and marry him or her. People might make you feel like marrying your boyfriend or girlfriend is the obvious choice, but you can’t risk lasting love on what others think is obvious. It might feel risky to break something off after a long time, but you never want to feel like you’re settling for a person. Instead, choose to feel a deep, committed love for the person you marry.

3. Spending Your Money on a Risky, yet Worthy Endeavor

People teach you to have a tight hold on your money and make the right, smart investments. I don’t like this view because it holds money too highly. Instead, we have the right to choose matters of impact over income.

If we feel an endeavor is worthy, we can put money down for that, even though it might not bring in the best income. Money doesn’t have to be the thing that makes an endeavor worth something.

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