Committing yourself and your family to a local church is one of the most important decisions you will ever make this side of eternity; and yet, for all the weightiness of it, it is a decision to which the larger part of church attenders have given little to no thought. Over the past three decades, I have witnessed multitudes of individuals and families choose to join churches for the wrong reason(s). While there is a plethora of helpful resources out there to help people understand the right reasons to join a church, the right reasons to leave a church and the right way to leave a church, there is very little that speaks directly to wrong reasons to join a church.

While more could be added to them, here are 7 common wrong reasons for which people join churches:

1. You don’t want your relationship with your family to suffer if you don’t attend the church that they attend. While we frequently talk about the challenges that those who leave Romans Catholicism face when they start attending a Protestant church, we often fail to acknowledge that this is the case in other ecclesiastical settings. Over the past 6 years of church planting in a small Southern town, I have notice that those coming from fundamentalist and deeply traditionalistic Southern churches often face the same challenges as those who leave Romans Catholicism. The families of such individuals look so disparagingly on Calvinistic or Reformed churches that they put pressure on their family members not to leave. I have been witness to numerous examples in which friendships have been broken–and family relationships strained–over such a move. In a few cases, I have watched as those who would otherwise have attended a Reformed church backpedal and settle for a church that, while it may not be an unfaithful church, is certainly less biblical simply because of the family relationship dynamic. This is a wrong reason to choose a church for yourself or your family.

2. You think that you might be able to make a difference in a church even though the leadership and body is biblically unfaithful. Legion have been the times that I have heard individuals that know that they attend a biblically unsound church try to convince themselves that it is right for them to stay with the following rationale: “We really feel like we can make a difference there” or “We are really involved with our Sunday school class and are able to pour into the lives of others in it on a one on one basis.” While this sounds noble, it is actually a wrong reason to be united to a local church. If the leadership is unfaithful, it will inevitably be detrimental to the individual members’ spiritual growth. This is a wrong reason to join a church.

3. You like the music and the atmosphere. Please don’t hear me as saying that you shouldn’t like the music or atmosphere of a local church. All of us have musical and stylistic preferences; however, if the first reason (or, one of the first reasons) that you give when asked why you chose to join a certain church is that you like the music, then it is likely that you have led with the wrong reason. This is one of the most common reasons that I hear when I talk with people about the churches that they attend. In fact, I usually don’t even have to ask them about their church for them to offer it. The conversation usually moves from me telling someone that I am a pastor to the individual(s) with whom I am talking telling me about their church. In almost every case, they say, “Well, we really just liked the music.” This is a wrong reason to join a church.

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