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Home/Featured/5 Ways Pastors Can Know It’s Time to Move On

5 Ways Pastors Can Know It’s Time to Move On

The honeymoon lasts a year or two, disillusionment lasts three or four years, and then comes realistic love

Written by Mark Tidsworth, Ethics Today | Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Spouses, children and the congregation itself may know before you do. God may be speaking through the people around you. Take the community of faith seriously.  We make these decisions as interrelated parts of the church, as expressed through a church.  Discernment is one of the gifts we offer one another in this body. Discreetly explore the spiritual direction available to you through this local body of Christ wherein you serve.

 

How do clergy and church staff know when it’s time to move?

Often this question arises in one of two circumstances: when an attractive opportunity comes along or when one’s current ministry setting grows uncomfortable. Though there are mixed motivations for asking, ask we do.

Over the course of one’s ministry, the question of staying or going surfaces to create legitimate quandaries. “How does one know when it’s time to move?”

Some denominations carry more of the decision making for their clergy than others. Yet, whatever one’s denominational system, this question becomes relevant (and consuming) periodically.

Whenever we try addressing the moving question, remembering humility is essential.

None of us should presume to answer this very personal and spiritual question for another.

On the other hand, through doing counseling and leadership coaching with clergy, I’m recognizing some helpful clues.

More often than not, the answer is to stay.

In any given year during which you do not move ministry contexts, you stayed. Stating the obvious – it only takes one out of 365 days to leave. Statistically, the decision to leave is rare.

A deeper argument for staying is about the spiritual and emotional maturity of the minister and the congregation.

When one stays, everyone is subtly forced to deal with one another, learning to tolerate humanity with grace.

When one leaves, the tension goes down (at least temporarily) and we don’t have to deal with our own limitations or growing edges. Staying means we have to work it out together.

The pastoral bond with the congregation usually moves through three stages (at least when it works well): illusion, disillusion and realistic love (see Warner White, “A Letter From One Priest to Another”).

White believes the honeymoon lasts a year or two, disillusionment lasts three or four years, and then comes realistic love. Staying allows this cycle to progress.

When your creative imagination goes elsewhere, it may be time to go.

No, I don’t mean for a few days, or even a couple weeks – everyone has flat periods.

I do mean when your passion and engagement attaches to something else or somewhere else for months.

Read More

Related Posts:

  • Arranged in the Body with Purpose
  • 11 Ways to Bless Your Church
  • What is Spiritual Discernment?
  • Following Christ Together: Solitary Christianity Is…
  • Being Faithful in Little Things

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