God explicitly commands his people to care for the fatherless and the sojourner. That is exactly what these children are. They need safe homes, they need the blessing of the hearing the gospel and living in homes order by God’s Word. They need to be covered in prayer. The caseworkers, parents, and everyone involved need to see the example of godly people who trust Christ. Everyone needs to hear truth and experience grace.

“She could stand anything, she thought – a gross guardian, a freaky kid, an ugly, dirty house –so long as she was in charge. She was well on her way” (The Great Gilly Hopkins, pg. 6).

I remember tearing up while reading a book for the first time when I read The Great Gilly Hopkins, the story of a tenacious foster child searching for home. Since the age of 10 I’ve wanted to provide a safe place for foster children to live. In January of 2014 my wife and I were certified to do just that. About 15 days ago we had our first placement, a newborn baby boy. He was with us two weeks, and here’s what I’ve learned so far.

1. They don’t have to be “yours” to love them

Leeanne and I have discussed adoption off and on, and while we’ve never questioned if we would provide a good home for an adopted child, we questioned our ability to emotionally attach to a child that “wasn’t ours.” (Of course, adoptive parents will tell you that their child is, indeed, theirs, but you understand what I mean, I hope.) So for us, bringing baby boy home was an eye opener. When you hold a little one in desperate need of safe harbor and nurture and care, for Lee and I anyway, you can’t help but attach. Many, many tears were shed leading up to, and after he moved on.

2. If it doesn’t feel like an emotional roller coaster, you’re doing it wrong

An experienced foster parent described our emotions to us perfectly when she asked, “Does it feel like total joy one moment and total depression the next?” “Yes,” Leeanne replied. “Good,” she replied, “you’re doing it right.” When you foster (truly foster, not necessarily foster children that you’re in the process of adopting) nothing is ever settled and so, in one moment you’re joyfully singing the baby to sleep, and the next you’re fearing the moment when he might return to situation that you don’t understand or feel comfortable with.

3. All parents say goodbye to their children

A friend who’s worked in social services for twenty plus years said this to me: “All parents say goodbye to their children, sometimes after 18 years, sometimes after a couple days.” That was incredibly comforting. Fostering is like parenting in hyper drive. Some foster children need forever homes with your family. Some foster children are combination of the orphan and the sojourner – both of whom are in the special providence of God (Ex. 22:21-24).

4. The system is more than broken

We picked up our foster baby at the hospital with a social worker and three state troopers. We felt like we were doing something wrong. And let me just say this – in a world where parents have the God given right and responsibility to raise children (5th commandment, Eph. 5-6), and the state has the God given right and responsibility to protect life, punish evil, and promote good (Romans 13); what happens when those rights and responsibilities come into conflict? Add to that a team of people – lawyers, caseworkers, foster parents, judges, etc – all with limited authority, knowledge, and responsibility, and almost all of them with the good intent of looking out for the child’s best interest. Honestly, it’s a wonder anyone survives the system. Which leads to the fifth lesson…

5. Christians need to be involved in the foster care system

God explicitly commands his people to care for the fatherless and the sojourner. That is exactly what these children are. They need safe homes, they need the blessing of the hearing the gospel and living in homes order by God’s Word. They need to be covered in prayer. The caseworkers, parents, and everyone involved need to see the example of godly people who trust Christ. Everyone needs to hear truth and experience grace. Please, won’t you consider contacting your local foster care agency or family and youth services, and explore whether or not you might be called to provide children a safe respite for brief or extended periods of time?

Resources

• National Foster Parent Association 
• Interview with a foster parent on NPR
• “Am I Ready for Foster Parenting” from Lutheran Family Services
• “Should You Become a Foster Parent” from Families4Children.com

Allan Edwards is a minister in the Presbyterian Church in America and serves as pastor of Kiski Valley PCA in Leechburg, PA. This article appeared on his blog and is used with permission.