I’m a stay-at-home mom because I’m striving to obey God’s calling on my life. He’s given me gifts, talents, and abilities that I steward while devoting most of my time to my family. We prayerfully made these decisions for our family; they’re not a judgment call on yours.

We’ve all come across passive-aggressive people who says things in that patented, nice-nasty way, smiling while they twist the knife with their words. There’s always a negative person who will make you question your decisions. Sometimes, it’s a friend, but sometimes, it’s the voice inside your head.

When it comes to stay-at-home motherhood, the cacophony of voices, both inside and out, can be deafening. In my brief stint as a stay-at-home mom, I’m learning to constantly combat at least four lies.

1. You have to prove your worth.

Sometimes we don’t realize how obvious our insecurities are. They creep into our sanctimonious Facebook statuses. They seep into our unsolicited advice. They drip from our soapboxes and crouch all around the extrabiblical hills we’re willing to die on.

In the minefield of the mommy wars, we need to remind ourselves that our identity should be rooted in Christ—not in having an advanced degree, exclusively nursing your toddler, being on track to be a CEO, or being a stay-at-home mom.

You’re defined by the one who was crucified for your sins, who sits at the right hand of the Father and intercedes for you (Eph. 1:20), whose sacrifice makes you his (1 Tim. 2:6). Your actions should be motivated by who you are in Christ (Rom. 12:1–2), but they shouldn’t define you.

Everything you need to prove has already been proven on the cross (Rom. 5:8).

2. You have to explain yourself.

Related to feeling the need to prove your worth is feeling the need to explain yourself.

“Yes, I’m a stay-at-home mom, but . . .” We’re afraid of the baggage the label might bring. Will people assume our husbands are rich and we’re “kept” women? Will they believe we stay home because we didn’t have the education or ambition to do anything else? Will they think we look down on other women?

The thing about assumptions is they’re never-ending. You put out one fire, and another takes its place. It’s not your job to right the misconceptions of the masses, and that goes for at-home moms and working moms alike. It’s your job to be obedient to the Father.

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