The Bible has a high view of sex and celebrates sexual desire as a good thing. But as with any good thing, it can be used in a disordered way, separating it from its proper end; namely to love God and love others.

Sometime not too long ago, my oldest son almost, for the first time in his life, blocked my jumpshot. Soon enough, he might win our 1v1 games. He’s only 10 years old, but he is growing up and eventually, probably sooner than I think, I will have a conversation with him about masturbation. What should I say?

Is masturbation included in the sexual immorality that scripture calls us to flee (1 Cor 6:18)? Or can masturbation be used for good? Can it be permitted in some cases and have physical, emotional and even spiritual benefits?

These are the questions I want to think about in this article. But first, some definitions.

What is Masturbation?

The Encyclopedia of Sexual Behaviour, published in 1961, said, “no other form of sexual activity has been more frequently discussed, more roundly condemned, and more universally practiced than masturbation” (”Autoeroticism,” in The Encyclopedia of Sexual Behaviour, 204). Imagine what it might say today?

Masturbation, as commonly understood, refers to genital stimulation done by yourself with intent to orgasm.

Scripture is silent on the act of masturbation. The Bible addresses lust, adultery, and a host of bodily discharges, but never explicitly addresses masturbation. Despite the biblical silence, in the evangelical world I grew up in, I never met anyone who viewed masturbation as permissible. That’s changed. In recent months, I’ve seen more than a few pieces in favour of chaste masturbation, arguing that masturbation is morally permissible provided it is done without lust.

We cannot cite a verse to solve the issue. Nevertheless, it seems to me that the biblical teaching about sex, and sexual desires in particular, raises real concerns about chaste masturbation. The rest of this article will summarize arguments in favour of permissible masturbation and raise three cautions against it in response.

Masturbation: Sometimes Permissible?

The positive argument for masturbation, provided it is done without explicit material or sexual fantasy, sees it as a viable outlet for intense sexual desire, and as a natural response to the physicality of our bodies. In this way, it even guards us from being sexually active before marriage or seeking sexual fulfillment outside of marriage. One writer describes this as “chaste masturbation.” She says,

When done in moderation and without lusting, masturbation could be one way that we experience God’s glory when union with a partner is not possible (or we are too young, or it is not time, etc.). The end goal of masturbation should not be pleasure for pleasure’s sake. The end goal of all sexual activity, including masturbation, is to give glory to the God who created our bodies for pleasure.

Richard Foster, a leading Christian voice on spiritual disciplines in the late 20th century, made a similar argument in The Challenge of the Disciplined Life, published in 1985. For Foster, masturbation can compensate for uneven sexual development experienced by young people, who are physically ready for sex “far sooner than they are for social intimacy and the responsibilities of marriage.” Masturbation, he writes, functions as a safety valve, “providing a potentially healthy genital outlet when sexual intercourse is not possible.” Foster sees no biblical justification for demanding that people quit masturbation full stop. He says, “We simply must not lay impossible moral burdens upon people, especially when we have no specific biblical teaching against masturbation.” Sexual desire needs an outlet, and therefore, the obsession to quit masturbating becomes a cycle of pain because the person is doomed to fail, even though, as Foster says, the Bible does not require such an all-or-nothing attitude.

I have even encountered Christian arguments permitting masturbation in marriage. A book my wife and I were given during our engagement presented a scenario where a wife discovers her husband masturbating in the shower. What should she do? The author suggested joining him in the shower and helping him finish. A husband secretly masturbating was framed as an invitation, not a concern.

Before I state my concerns about “chaste masturbation,” I want to note important caveats and a point of appreciation.

In every piece I’ve read, there are always warnings and guard rails, especially around masturbation’s tendency toward obsessiveness, and associations with pornography and sexual fantasizing. No one says just go for it! Likewise, Christian proponents of chaste masturbation emphasize that the glory of God, not the self-directed love of masturbation, is the telos of human sexuality. These are true and good warnings, and even though I think they get clouded by the permissible treatment of masturbation, I do not question their sincerity.

I also appreciate the emphasis from proponents of chaste masturbation that masturbation is not an unforgivable sin. Many parents avoid hard conversations about physical pleasure and sexual stimulation with their children, only to overreact when they discover their son or daughter masturbates. Masturbation does not mark the point of no return. God made our bodies to enjoy the physicality of intimacy. Sexual desire is a “good” of creation, not a consequence of the fall. The first experience of masturbation is often tied to knowing no other way to respond to our desires and our body. Parents do not need to panic when it happens with your son or daughter.

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