If you pay any attention to the news, you are well aware that sexual offenders show up in churches, predators hunting defenseless prey, who do unspeakably horrible things to our children. Much of what is done could be prevented, but many churches are ignorant about how to protect their children and about how to respond when child sexual abuse happens at church. It all adds up to being irresponsible with the littlest ones that God has entrusted to our care.
Jonathan was sick to his stomach. No pastor ever wants a child hurt. Yet, his church was facing a lawsuit over sexual abuse in their children’s ministry. He was bogged down with conversations with a lawyer, shepherding the distraught families in his congregation, feeling guilt over his failed leadership, and trying to hold things together. Jonathan said, “It felt like a bomb just went off, and I’m cleaning up the mess.”
“Jimmy” was a friendly man who had joined First Baptist Church about a year before. He was very kind, and the members of First Baptist took a quick liking to him. Jimmy volunteered to teach a Sunday school class and got to know “Peter,” an eight-year-old boy, in his class. Things started innocently. A hug at the end of class. Gifts for Peter. Lots of extra attention.
And then it happened. Jimmy took advantage of Peter. He made Peter keep it a secret. Peter cried a lot over the next few days (which was not like him), and eventually his mother got it out of him. She contacted the pastor immediately, but the church made excuses. She was so outraged, she sued the church.
When churches fail our kids
Sadly this is an all too familiar story. If you pay any attention to the news, you are well aware that sexual offenders show up in churches, predators hunting defenseless prey, who do unspeakably horrible things to our children. Much of what is done could be prevented, but many churches are ignorant about how to protect their children and about how to respond when child sexual abuse happens at church. It all adds up to being irresponsible with the littlest ones that God has entrusted to our care.
Why do churches fail our kids?
- Because churches are so desperate for volunteers, sexual offenders know they can get easy access to kids.
- Because churches are so informal, they don’t bother checking on someone’s past or screening volunteers.
- Because Christians make too many assumptions about sexual abuse. They think things like “It will never happen to us” or “We know everyone at church, and none of our friends would do something like this.”
- Because Christians make too many assumptions about sexual offenders. They assume they are not anything like us, when in fact sexual offenders come in all types—white collar or blue collar, single or married, male or female, educated or uneducated, rich or poor.
- Because church members get offended when the children’s ministry director starts implementing protective measures in children’s ministry. Long-standing members think, “Why do I need to do a background check? I’ve been here for twenty years.” Others think, “We’re a small church. We’re like a family. Why do we need this?”
- Because sexual offenders are smart. They know Christians are naive, so they take advantage of their trust. A sexual offender cultivates a double life, appearing like the nicest guy in the world. He does this in order to get easy access to children.
- Because when child sexual abuse happens at church, there are often no policies in place for how to handle it. When pastors try to handle this internally without a response plan and without involving authorities, children are victimized yet again—but this time by church authorities.
Many more reasons can be listed, but these give you a sampling of what could go wrong.
Protecting our church kids
What can be done about this problem? How can pastors and churches be more responsible in protecting our children? Let me suggest twelve best practices. None of these practices by themselves can completely eliminate the possibility of a sexual offender hurting your church kids. But together (if followed) they can reduce the risk and increase the likelihood that our kids will be safe. And who doesn’t want that, right?
Best practice #1: Creating and implementing a child protection policy
A Child Protection Policy (CPP) is a set of self-imposed guidelines that describe how a church intends to protect the children under its care. A church with no policy is a recipe for disaster because it creates a culture of false assumptions that sexual offenders prey on, such as, “We are a small church, so we know everyone.”
CPPs trace out prevention measures, what the church can do to decrease the likelihood of abuse. But they also offer a response plan if abuse occurs within the church. If a child were abused in your children’s ministry, do you know how you would treat the offender? Do you know how to care for the family of the victim? Do you understand the regulations for reporting abuse? When do you tell the other parents in the church? Do you know what to say to media requests? A well-written Child Protection Policy gives you a set of procedures that guide the church’s response to abuse. A church with a CPP shows that the leadership and staff have proactively thought about these things in advance. If there are no plans in place, it means the pastor is going to figure out what to do when something comes up. Which church would you prefer to bring your kids to—the well-planned children’s ministry, or the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants approach?
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