Paul exhorts us, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12). But I lacked patience in this ministry conflict. I was often in fighting mode instead. That was unwise and obviously worsened the conflict.

“Brother, being called to pastoral ministry is the greatest privilege in this world. It’s a great honour to serve our king.” I can still remember these words from a dear friend and mentor on the day of my ordination into pastoral ministry. He was right. I have never regretted being a pastor. However, I have regretted some of the things I have done in ministry. My regrets have always driven me to my knees, asking the Lord to forgive me and grow me more in his likeness.

In the first years of my ministry, I experienced a fire hose of opposition from the accuser of brethren, Satan, which led to serious conflict. I look back to that time with thankfulness for how the Lord supplied wisdom, strength and grace to navigate those perilous waters. But I also look back with regret because of how I handled some aspects of the conflict. Praise the Lord for his abounding grace! Our life and service aren’t defined by our mistakes but by his faithfulness (2 Timothy 2:13). Below are 10 of the larger mistakes I made in handling my first conflict in pastoral ministry.

1. Not Resting on the Pillow of Providence

Charles Spurgeon, in his sermon, Israel at the Red Sea, taken from Psalm 106:9, wonderfully observes: “Do you imagine that [God] would ever guide you into such a [trial] that he could not conduct you out again?” Spurgeon continues, “Christian, there is no sweeter pillow than providence! And when providence seems adverse, believe it still, lay it under your head, for depend upon it there is comfort in its bosom.”

I have never once doubted the doctrine of God’s providence, which the Bible clearly teaches. My ministry conflict wasn’t outside of the Lord’s control or will. Yet living this truth when the conflict was raging fiercely was a different matter entirely. Often, I was tempted to act as if God had nothing to do with it. May the Lord forgive.

2. Not Praying More

Every pastor knows well that in ministry we are not fighting against flesh and blood but strong and powerful spiritual forces (Ephesians 6:12). Thus, our weapons aren’t physical but spiritual (2 Corinthians 10:4).

I regret not spending more time on my knees and talking to the Lord. I should have done much more of this than the time I spent talking with people who strongly disagreed with me. Now don’t get me wrong. It’s crucial to keep talking with both those who disagree with you and those who are seeking to offer godly counsel. But it is even more crucial to talk with the Lord in prayer.

3. Forgetting That It’s Christ’s Church—Not Mine

As the conflict raged on, I was very anxious about the well-being of the church. I feared so much that the conflict would destroy our church. This drove me into panic mode. Thankfully, the Lord used the truth of Matthew 16:18 to comfort my overly troubled soul. The message Matthew 16:18 was very clear—and dear—to me. ‘Confex,’ it reminded me, ‘this is Christ’s church. He will build it himself, and the gates of hell will never prevail against it. While he has called you to serve this church, he doesn’t need you to build it.’ Trusting this promise of Christ was all I needed to calm my restless soul.

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