By the time most people reach 60 or so (like me!), they are reasonably familiar with setbacks, personal and financial losses, the deaths of parents and elderly relatives, disappointments and other disquieting news. This is especially so if you have a large family (I have eight children and six grandchildren) and many friends. As believers we know that man is made for trouble as sparks fly upward, that Christ has never promised us a sorrow-free existence, that sin is pervasive in every relationship no matter how close or friendly, that Christ suffered mightily for our sins (by His stripes we are healed) and that as believers we are called to share in Christ’s suffering.

Nevertheless, when sorrow truly hits unexpectingly (not the passing away of a beloved elderly parent after a long disease), shock followed by discouragement can often set in. Hard times often comes in waves or groups and the overall effects can be devastating.

About two weeks ago, I found out that my wife has cancer. Sadly, it is an aggressive type that required the doctors to go immediately to strong chemo-therapy rather than operating. Our little ffamily world was suddenly turned upside down almost overnight, as the effects of harsh chemo-therapy became daily evident. Our children’s faith is being tested as never before, amidst the sorrow of this discovery in their mother’s body. Friends are stunned and I’m understandingly rattled and perplexed. Although I have seen similar tragedies in others, I naively thought that it would never personally happen to me.

Most of our lives are spent trying to make things more comfortable for those we love, including ourselves. Most Christians (like myself) work hard to establish nice homes, secure jobs, good health, solid education, loving relationships (especially with our spouses and children) and minister in their local churches (I’ve been a ruling elder in six congregations). We see God’s gracious Providence provide for and sustain us daily and give Him the glory for it. We see Him work out difficult things in a manner that takes our breath away, understanding that God can indeed “work out all things to His Glory for those who are called” Romans 8:28-29. Then….bang it happens, suddenly its not some esoteric, far-off event but personal disaster that can’t easily be explained away. God’s timing, ways and plans are not always our plans and ways.

So far, I’ve taken some solace in that great book of Job. Here is a righteous man that is hit with everything at once. His children were not suffering from some disease, they were taken suddenly…..everyone of them killed in a horrible maelstrom of circumstances. His response is surprising, telling and comforting for a father. “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised” Job 1:21. And after his health is gone and his wife has told him to curse God and die, he responds, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” There are few statements in Scripture that demonstrate that God is clearly in charge and ordains all things (not just the sunshine, but also the devastating storms).

Job, of course, goes through much doubting, not helped by his misguided and arrogant counselors (presuming to know God’s will and judging Job). Job knows that he serves a righteous God and is clearly baffled on why such a sorrow has been perpetrated against himself. He, who has striven to live a Godly life. Job says again in Job 13:15, “though He slay me, yet I will hope in him.” Yet, Job demands to defend himself before the Almighty. When Job finally gets his day in court with Jehovah, he is never really given a reason for his particular sorrows and struggles, only that God knows what He is doing and that Job must trust in Him.

Job summarized God’s response by saying, “I know that You (God) can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted….surely I spoke things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You (God) said, ‘Listen now, and I (God) will speak: I (God) will question you, and you shall answer me. My ears had heard You (God), but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42: 2-6

Job had sinned by questioning God’s sovereignty, grace and justice. I sin by saying, “If God is in control, how could he allow this to happen?” My wife and I are locked into time and space, unable to see beyond this day. We are hardly able to discern our own feelings and motives, let alone those of others. We are unable to see how God can use even cancer to further his perfect will in this imperfect world. The ultimate question always before my wife and me in a time of trial is: Will we trust God with our lives and future? Does God really (in an eternal perspective) have our best interest and care in mind?

The Psalmist struggles with these eternal questions as I do. But the answer is always the same…yes! God will be glorified and He will provide for His children. “The Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom (or what ) shall I be afraid?…For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.” (Psalm 27) There are many similar Psalms. I’m given comfort in the daily reading of the Psalms. I’m given even more comfort in Christ’s personally dying for me, protecting me and praying for me (John 17).

As finite and ultimately weak humans, doubts will sweep over us (sometimes daily) as we face with my family this disease of cancer. Thankfully my family, church and friends are truly comforting and praying me and my children (not like the false counselors of Job). I will write more as this story unfolds. Please pray for me and my family during this time of testing and sorrow in watching someone you love suffer. Pray that my wife will recover and that she will be able to handle the difficulties in treating this dreaded disease. The answer to every struggle and doubt is Jesus Christ, the God-man who lived, suffered and died for my wife and me. May we see that realty daily.

Brad Winsted is the director of Children’s Ministry International (CMI). CMI develops reformed material for children, churches and schools. CMI also conducts the children’s programs at Mission to the World regional conferences (since the early 1980’s). He resides in Atlanta with his wife of 31 years, Fawn, and three of their eight children.