Over recent months our adult Sunday school class has been covering the material that was used in the ancient church for the instruction of new converts. This was the plan followed: I. What Christians Believe: The Apostles’ Creed; II. How Christians Live: The Ten Commandments; and III. How Christians Pray: The Lord’s Prayer.
 
We have worked our way through the Apostles’ Creed and are now studying the Commandments. Each of the Commandments includes both specific commands (“Honor your father and your mother”) and an underlying principle (“Both those in authority and those under authority owe each other the performance of the duties required by the position held.” e.g., Government-Citizens, Husbands-Wives, Parents-Children, Masters-Slaves, Elders-Members).

 
Presently we are considering the Seventh Commandment. In the course of understanding it, we have looked at the commandment itself, which requires chastity before marriage and faithfulness in marriage, and, as Jesus did, the heart of the matter which is as he describes it “look(ing) at a woman with lustful intent” (Matthew 5: 27-30).
 
There is one other subject Jesus addresses under the Seventh Commandment. It is the sensitive but important subject of divorce (Matt. 5:31, 32). What makes this especially sensitive and important is that almost 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. This does not mean 50% of all first-time marriages end in divorce, but 50% of all marriages. Those who have been divorced once are more likely to divorce again than the rest of the married population. What is especially troubling for the church is that there is no statistical difference between the rate of divorce among those who identify themselves as “born-again” Christians and the rest of society.
 
The divorce rate in this country taken with the rate of unmarried cohabitation is truly scary with regard to the stability and survival of our civilization. And, the divorce rate among Christians taken with increased (though not as great as the general society) acceptance of unmarried cohabitation is an ominous sign regarding the present and future strength and impact of the church.
 
Let me summarize this teaching by using brief questions and answers.
 
Where does God teach about divorce? Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Malachi 2:13-16; Matthew 5:31,32; Matthew 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:10-16.
 
Does God allow divorce? Divorce is always a tragedy. It is contrary, as Jesus teaches us, to God’s intent for marriage. The Roman Catholic Church does not allow divorce, hence the complicated system for annulment, which is taken to mean that the marriage never existed. However, Protestants have generally taught that, because marriage takes place between sinners in a fallen world, there are some circumstances when divorce is allowed.
 
When does God allow divorce? There are two circumstances. One is sexual sin (adultery) that breaks the one-flesh marriage bond. The other is desertion (abandonment) that cannot be remedied because the one who leaves refuses to return.
 
What sexual sins constitute grounds for divorce? The Greek word Jesus uses is porneia. It is a general word for sexual immorality. Here I quote from the PCA position paper on Divorce and Remarriage approved by the General Assembly in 1992:
 
We agree that porneia refers to ‘sexual immorality.’ But sexual immorality could be understood to include all sorts of sexual sins… To be sure, these are sins that impinge against the one-flesh relationship, but they do not necessarily break it. We ask then, ‘What does Jesus mean by porneia in this passage as the grounds for divorce?’ We believe Jesus intended porneia to be understood in a more limited way, as referring to those external sexual actions which would clearly break the one-flesh relationship…we must distinguish between those  sexual sins that clearly break the one-flesh union and those that don’t. (Those that break the one-flesh union [do so] precisely because they involve sexual union with a being other than one’s marriage partner, i.e, they amount to adultery.) Other acts of sexual immorality do not as clearly serve to break the one-flesh relationship… they do not unmistakably break the one-flesh relationship; but if a person becomes so obsessed with them that they become a substitute for fulfilling the conjugal rights of the spouse, then they could be understood to break the one-flesh union……some sexual sins may hurt the marriage union without breaking it. But when the sin becomes externalized in such a way that it becomes a substitute for the one-flesh relation with one’s spouse, then the Session may judge it as being the equivalent of porneia.
 
What is desertion?
 
Several considerations incline us to agree with those… who have maintained that desertion can occur as well by imposition of intolerable conditions as by departure itself…(Note: The only possibility considered in the report is physical violence which leads to the abused person’s leaving, because the abusing partner forces the abused partner to flee the home for physical safety.) We are quick to add, however, that the list of sins tantamount to desertion cannot be very long. To qualify, a sin must have the same extreme effect as someone’s abandonment of his spouse… The Bible gives no justification for divorce based on merely inward, emotional, and subjective reasons. Even if we find justification for interpreting desertion in a broader sense … (it) must be broadened only within the boundaries of serious objective acts of desertion. (It) must not be interpreted in any way that opens the floodgates to divorces based on subjective reasons, such as ‘irreconcilable differences,’ ’emotional separation,’ ‘loss of affection,’ or the like. There is often great pain involved in marriage, and God intends for people to work through the pain and learn to love even when we are not loved by the other. Emotional problems in and of themselves are not Biblical grounds for divorce. And the elders of Christ’s church must not surrender to worldly pressures and allow that which God does not allow…
 
What is the responsibility of the church? The church’s responsibility is (1) to train its youth according to the biblical teaching regarding sexuality and marriage; (2) to do everything possible to strengthen the marriages of its members; (3) to uphold biblical standards regarding the grounds for divorce; (4) to approach every troubled couple with love, understanding, and help with the goal of restoring the relationship; (5) to support the party who does not cause the divorce;* (6) to minister to the needs of children for whom divorce is almost always destructive; (7) to seek pastorally, with humility and showing grace, to help the erring party to repent and find forgiveness, according to his/her profession; and (8) as a last resort to use the Bible’s disciplinary process (Matthew 18:15-20; 1 Corinthians 5:1-13; Galatians 6:1) to uphold the honor of Christ, to protect the purity of the church, and to reclaim the person who (it is be hoped) had temporarily gone astray.
 
What should persons who have been divorced without Biblical grounds and who have since remarried do? Repent of the sin involved. Do not leave but stay in the marriage. Do everything possible to mitigate the effects of those sinful actions on others, especially children.
 
What makes you an authority on divorce? I am not. I am a sinner whose calling involves teaching the Bible. I try to do that under the authority of the Bible and in accord with my ordination vow, accepting the teaching of the Westminster Standards. I need grace as much as anyone I know.
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*The question comes, “Is there ever an ‘innocent party’?” In one sense, no. Marriage is between two sinners (saved, we trust, by the grace of God), and they are going to sin against one another, sometimes in ways that cause much pain. But, in terms of the Bible’s teaching on divorce, the “innocent party” is the one who has not committed adultery or who has not deserted the spouse. But the church should encourage that person to examine his/her conduct within the marriage, to seek change in attitudes and behaviors that are harmful to marriage, and to proceed slowly and with counsel toward any future marriage.
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Rev. William H. Smith is pastor of Covenant Presbyterian Church in Louisville, Miss.