Please don’t misunderstand me. From the pastor to the pews, we all need God’s grace and mercy. In that light, no one is superior or inferior to another. As the old saying goes, “We all stand equal at the foot of the cross,” but that does not mean that there aren’t distinctions and that we don’t have roles. Roles exist in marriage, between children and parent(s), in the secular work environment, and the church.

I often hear the question asked, “What’s the world coming to?” The answer is simple: judgment and the redemption of all things. But that’s not why the question is normally asked. In my experience, the question typically comes on the tail end of some devastating event (e.g., murder, war, gang violence, etc.). I, like you, completely understand why this question is asked in the wake of those events. These things are absolutely horrific. As Christians, we want peace and unity. We look forward to heaven when we won’t have to deal with these tragedies. Yet, in this sin-cursed world, heaven is something we’ll continually have to long for until the Lord takes us home or he returns.

In the meantime, I’ve become persuaded that it is often the major (or tragic) events that garner our attention to the exclusion of the “lesser” tragic events. These are the things that make Fox News or our local paper and cause us to ask the question. But perhaps some of the “lesser” tragic events should cause us to ask the same question, “What’s the world coming to?”

In my lifetime, I’ve seen many things. I’ve seen the desire to create unisex bathrooms in California (and if my understanding is correct, they already have these in certain parts of Europe). I’ve also seen the push to legitimize homosexual union. In my opinion, these ideas are completely unfortunate. We are blurring the lines of distinction between men and women. This is headline news.

As a result, Christians around the United States, and even the world, throw their arms up in disgust as people press these issues further and further into the fabric of society. Are you familiar with these issues? I’m sure; however, what about some of those “lesser” things, things that don’t make the New York Times or CNN? In particular, I’m talking about “first names.”

If you’re married, you likely call your spouse by his or her first name. You might even have a nickname, but you still use your spouse’s first name. Your children or closest friends may call you by your first name, too. That’s reasonable and perfectly normal, but one change that I’ve noticed, which I don’t believe is necessarily reasonable, although it’s becoming quite normal, is calling the pastor by his first name.

Perhaps it’s the military in me. When I spoke with my peers, I called them by their first name, but when I spoke with my superiors, they were addressed by their title. My wife seems to suggest the same. As a nurse, she feels uncomfortable addressing her doctors by their first names. It’s always, “Dr. Henry,” or “Dr. Jenkins.” Why, then, when it comes to the pastorate, people are comfortable calling their pastor by his first name? Have we blurred this distinction in the church?

Please don’t misunderstand me. From the pastor to the pews, we all need God’s grace and mercy. In that light, no one is superior or inferior to another. As the old saying goes, “We all stand equal at the foot of the cross,” but that does not mean that there aren’t distinctions and that we don’t have roles. Roles exist in marriage, between children and parent(s), in the secular work environment, and the church.

I remember speaking to a minister, now in Canada, but born and raised in Africa. When he visited an American church, he was shocked at the seeming disrespect laypersons had for their pastor by addressing him by his first name. He told me that that would never happen in his country. So, why do some Christians do it here? Is it cultural? I’m sure. Are we infatuated by the modern trend to make all pastors “life coaches”? Perhaps. Do we want to remove the pulpit only to replace it by a music stand or coffee table so that pastors seem like everyone else? Although we don’t want to blur the lines of distinction in certain venues, perhaps we’ve become overly comfortable blurring the lines of distinction in the church?

Do you want unisex bathrooms? You likely don’t. Do you endorse homosexual behavior? If you’re a Christian, you should not. These are major issues, and you likely have a position on them. But what about some of the “lesser” issues that go unmentioned simply because they’ve become normal to us (e.g., calling a pastor by his first name)? Is our pastor just another one of the guys, or in his office is he distinct because he’s been called by God and his Church?

This brief article is not meant to address all the issues regarding why laypersons call their pastors by their first names. As I said, it’s likely cultural. Perhaps the pastor even invites it. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this, as a minister of the gospel he is called to perform certain duties in his office. God and his Church have set him aside. For that reason, I believe he should be addressed as, “Pastor” (or even Reverend). Am I biased? I guess as a pastor I might be, but in a world where we are quick to blur the lines of distinction, even when it comes to first names, I wonder, “What’s the world coming to?”

Leon Brown is a minister in the Presbyterian Church in America and currently serves as Assistant Pastor at New City Fellowship in Fredericksburg, VA. He holds MDiv and MA degrees from WTS California and is presently pursuing doctoral studies in OT and the Ancient Near East.