Slander is a powerful evil. We should avoid slander, either speaking or hearing it. Our calling, far from slander, is rather to speak the truth in love. “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Eph. 4:15). To lead us away from slander we need only to follow Christ’s love and forgiveness for us, to let us love and forgive one another, with true tenderness.

Read Part 1 and Part 2

First, how should we respond when we are tempted to hear slander?

• Check your heart. Remember that our desire to hear slander often arises from the desire to justify ourselves by seeing others as less than we are, therefore, we should be cautious when hearing any criticism of another.
• Beware of “victims.” Recognize that playing the victim is a powerful tool that the slanderer may use to court our sympathy. A person may speak of how they have been hurt. We may sincerely want to be helpful, so we listen to what a slanderer describes as the pain the object of their slander has, in their mind, caused them. It is good to recall the warning. “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him” (Prov. 18:17). Too often we are ready to assume a slander is true when the slanderer plays the victim.
• Recall the biblical warnings against slander. “Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly I will destroy” (Ps. 101:5). Instead of hearing slander, we should recall the prohibitions against slander and proceed with caution. Ask yourself: “Is this slander that I am hearing? Does it hurt the person’s reputation? Do I know or suspect it to be untrue?” Too often today under the guise of caring for others, we listen to slander when we should be sending the slanderer packing. We have absolutely no duty to hear slander. No duty to sympathize with slander. No duty to repeat slander.
• Ask this single question. Indeed, we should develop a particularly Christian reflex when someone is bringing us a bad report. We should ask the question: “Have you spoken to them about your issues with them?” Wait for the reply and if the answer is no, or some self-justification happens, then caution the person against slandering others. Think of the pain and conflicts in churches that could be stopped if we all were unwilling to receive slander!

Second, how should we proceed when we are tempted to slander another?

• Examine your own heart. Again, we do well to examine our own hearts. “Where does my bitterness spring from? Does my grudge against them truly arise from a biblical sin they have committed, or just something I do not prefer?” Continue the self-examination. “Is there unforgiveness in my heart? A grudge I want to settle? Is it true what I want to say? Is it helpful? Does it build up or tear down?” Reread the prohibitions against slander and take your heart to God repenting of the desire to tear another down. Perhaps you are bitter just because the person you want to slander is your better?
• Remember the danger of being a slanderer. Let us remember the destructive power of slander to the slanderer. While slander may cost the target in the eyes of the world, we are warned that it will defile the soul of those who slander (Matt. 15:19–20). It is no sin to be slandered. It is a sin, destructive to our own lives, to slander.
• Recall the evil of slandering others. Would you become an accuser of the brethren with Satan (Rev. 12:10)? Then slander. Would you commit murder (1 John 3:15)? Then slander. Would you curse the one whom God has blessed (Jam. 3:9)? Then slander.
• Do not slander! Whatever the source of your desire to slander, do not proceed with your desire. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:31–32). Instead of your intended slander, be kind and forgiving. “Bless and do not curse” (Rom. 12:14).

Finally, how should we respond when we are slandered?

• Expect to be slandered. If our Lord and Master Jesus Christ was slandered, then we who would walk in his ways should expect to be slandered as well. Those who lead God’s people are particularly subject to attack. Korah slandered Moses, falsely accusing him of pride (Num. 16:3). Absalom slandered his own father, David, slyly accusing him of being unjust (2 Sam. 15:4). Paul was constantly subject to slander, even from the very churches he founded: “Through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true” (2 Cor. 6:8). Every Christian can expect that they will be attacked (2 Tim. 3:12).
• Endure slander, do not return it. We are tempted to fire back at those who slander us. “Oh, yeah, well you’re a….” But we look to Jesus both as our model and our strength. “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return” (1 Pet. 2:23). Rather than cursing those who curse us we are to bless them, as Paul had learned. “When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat” (1 Cor. 4:12–13).
• Rejoice knowing that the Lord will reward you for any abuse you suffer in this life. One of the highest levels of reward Jesus promised to his people was to those who were persecuted for obeying him. “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matt. 5:11–12). Being slandered is a form of persecution. Count yourself blessed to be persecuted, the day comes when Jesus will reward you for your pains.
• Trust the Lord to eventually vindicate you. His vindication may not come quickly, it may take years, it may not come until heaven, but look to him to vindicate by his own might, rather than desperately trying to vindicate yourself. “For the LORD will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants” (Ps. 135:14). While the Larger Catechism (Question 144) asserts our duty to preserve the “good name” of our neighbor and ourselves, our primary effort to preserve our name should be crying out to our Father. “Vindicate me, O LORD, my God, according to your righteousness, and let them not rejoice over me!” (Ps. 35:24). When sinned against we work to respond without sin, keeping our consciences clear, looking to the Lord for help. “Having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame” (1 Pet. 3:16).
• Trust God to use the slander against you to bless you. God will use the slander to grow you and to lead you to the future he desires for you. While extremely painful, it does not actually harm your soul to be slandered. Indeed, God may well use it to form and humble us, convincing us to turn to him and depend on him more deeply. “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (Jam. 1:2–4). The trial of slander, intended to destroy you, will instead perfect you! The assault your persecutors launch upon you cannot prevent, but rather, will contribute to, God’s fulling his purposes in your life. “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me” (Ps. 138:8). Their lies do not determine your future, God’s truth does. Their hatred does not control your destiny, God’s love does.

Remember Joseph who faithfully avoided the amorous advances of Potiphar’s wife, and was slandered by her into prison, for years. Yet precisely from there, the Lord fulfilled his purpose for Joseph’s life . . . perfectly. Joseph, looking back at all the evil done to him, realized this foundational truth: The evil done to us, will be used by God for us, to bless us. This he proclaimed to his brothers who had sold him into slavery many years earlier. “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Gen. 50:20).

Slander is a powerful evil. We should avoid slander, either speaking or hearing it. Our calling, far from slander, is rather to speak the truth in love. “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Eph. 4:15). To lead us away from slander we need only to follow Christ’s love and forgiveness for us, to let us love and forgive one another, with true tenderness. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:31-32).

Dr. Thomas D. Hawkes is a Minister in the Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church and serves a Director of Church Planting for the ARP Florida Presbytery, and as Lead Pastor of Christ ARP Mission in Fernandina Beach, Fla.