Suffering and weeping are real and profound, but for God’s children, they are temporary. One day, grief will end. Forever. Eternal joy is on its way. Jesus, our forever friend, “will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain” (Revelation 21:4). This is the blood-bought promise of Jesus. In the meantime, when our hearts ache, let’s turn to Jesus, our greatest source of comfort and peace.

Over the four-plus years my beloved wife Nanci faced cancer, there were many good reports and many bad ones. We rode a roller coaster of emotions throughout her three surgeries, three rounds of radiation, and three rounds of chemo.

I vividly remember the day when the doctor said it was now stage 4 cancer that had spread to her lungs. That night we prayed together, and then I went downstairs, got on my knees by the couch, buried my face in my hands, and wept. I poured out my heart to God, begging Him to intervene. I did what 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to do: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (NIV).

Suddenly I felt something beside me. I opened my eyes and saw our golden retriever Maggie’s front paws next to my hands. She gave me a look of loving concern, licked my tears, and then made a loud mournful sound she had never made before and never did again. I can only describe it as a groan. It startled me.

I thought immediately of Romans 8, which tells us that we groan, the whole creation groans, and God’s Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. I realized that three of us were groaning together for Nanci, whom we all loved—our God, myself, and our dog. And then I wept more, this time finding great comfort in both my companions.

The God of All Comfort

A year later, I was there when Nanci took her last breath. I felt profoundly sad, yet so privileged to have been her husband and to be there till death did us part. In the more than two years now since she relocated to Heaven, her absence has been palpable. I miss her frequent texts about dogs and football and great quotes from Charles Spurgeon and J. I. Packer and others. I miss the sound of her voice and her laughter, always so loud and contagious.

The grief has been difficult. Yet God has been doing a work of grace in my life, bringing me comfort that allows me to go forward without her. (This is greatly helped by my anticipation of one day being with her again in the presence of Jesus!) In Psalm 16:8 (ESV) David says, “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.” To set God before me is to recognize His presence and constant help.

When a child falls off a bike, she doesn’t need her father to say, “Sweetheart, here’s why it happened—given your speed and the weight of this bike, it couldn’t tolerate that sharp turn and . . .” No. The child simply wants comfort. Like this child, we don’t need explanations, most of which we wouldn’t understand anyway.

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