“Christians need to be careful not to add an unbearable weight to the burden, Butterfield cautioned. ‘The solution for all sin is repentance’. Butterfield said that while Christians can struggle with homosexual temptations, they cannot just add Jesus to the mix and not repent. ‘Make no mistake. This is spiritual war. Our identity cannot be rooted in sin.’”

Dr. Rosaria Butterfield said it was difficult to describe her unlikely conversion to Christianity, but settled on defining it as a mix of an alien abduction and a train wreck. ‘I lost everything but the dog,’ she said.

Butterfield was speaking September 3, 2015 at Central Avenue CRC in Holland, MI, at the invitation of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, also in Holland. ‘Her story is a gospel story and magnifies the glory and power of God’s grace. It’s also a story that challenges the church in the way they love and share the gospel with the LGBTQ community,’ explained Pastor Chip Byrd.

Butterfield’s address was based on her new book, Openness Unhindered: Further Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert on Sexual Identity and Union with Christ.

Butterfield was raised in a ‘normal’ childhood, attended Catholic schools, and experienced a heterosexual adolescence. But there was a longing for a deeper connection with her woman friends during her college years, even while she was dating men. The shift into a lesbian mindset was subtle. Her love for the LGBT community was in step with her sexual preference, she explained. When she graduated from Ohio State University with a PhD, she left for her English teaching position at Syracuse University with a lesbian partner. ‘I had chosen the enlightened path,’ she thought.

She felt her life was happy and meaningful. She and her next partner shared many common interests and were by definition good citizens. They were involved in AIDS activism, children’s health and literacy, golden retriever rescue, and their Unitarian Universalist church.
‘It was hard to argue that she and I were anything but good citizens and caregivers. The LGBT community values hospitality and applies it with skill, sacrifice and integrity. I honed the hospitality skills I use today as a pastor’s wife in my queer community.’

Road to Change

Butterfield began reading the Bible as part of her research for a book on the religious right. ‘I took note that the Bible was an engaging literary display of every trope and type. It had edgy poetry, deep and complex philosophy, and compelling narrative stories.’ That was very interesting to an English professor. However, ‘it also embodied a worldview that I hated,’ she stated.

When Promise Keepers came to town and ‘parked their little circus’ at the university, Butterfield wrote an article published in the local paper. The article generated a lot of hate mail, but one letter from a local pastor stood out because of its tone. She responded to the letter from Pastor Ken Smith, and the seeds of friendship took root.

According to Butterfield, Smith and his wife, Floy, broke the two cardinal rules for Christians dealing with heathens like her, and that’s what kept her coming back. They didn’t share the gospel with her, and they did not invite her to church. ‘Because of these omissions to the Christian rulebook as I had come to know it, I felt that when Ken extended his hand to me in friendship, it was safe to close my hand in his. I was not Ken’s project. I was his friend.’

Using her PhD training, Butterfield began reading the Bible like she would any book, examining its authority. ‘Slowly and over time, the Bible began to take on a life and meaning that startled me. Some of my well-worn paradigms no longer stuck.’

Starting to test the logic of the Bible by looking at God’s attributes of goodness and holiness and authority Butterfield learned the Bible’s statements about sin were followed by offers of repentance and forgiveness. She also realized the Bible had the right to interrogate her life and her culture, not the other way around.

Her friends knew she was reading the Bible under the guise of research, but an encounter with her transgendered friend J. gave her ‘secret tacit permission’ to keep reading it. J., a former Presbyterian minister, then left two large milk crates of theological books on her doorstep. In Calvin’s Institutes of the Christian Religion was a note in the margin in J.’s handwriting, ‘Be careful here. Don’t forget Romans 1.’

The verse seemed to provide a haunting literary echo to Genesis 3,where Eve’s desire to live independently of God’s authority had earlier made perfect sense to Butterfield. ‘The two chapters – one in Genesis and one in Romans – stood out as bookends of my life. But not just my life; it is what ails the world.’ Butterfield reasoned.

After reading Romans 1:29-32, Butterfield came to the conclusion that homosexuality is not the end-point of the problem, but one step in the journey. It is consequential rather than causal, rooted in original sin. ‘For the first time in my life, I wondered if I was wrong. I tried to toss the Bible and its teachings in the trash.’

But she kept reading at the encouragement of Pastor Ken and his wife Floy. She was fighting the idea that the Bible is inspired and inerrant. ‘I didn’t even believe in truth. I believed in truth claims.’

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