So I had the four guys over for lunch one day; they were all nice guys. I served them a typical Malawian meal: nsima (looks like mashed potatoes but is made from corn and is tasteless and nutritionless) beans and greens. Water to drink. No dessert. They were very polite and appreciative, but I was trying to get across to them that this is all Malawians ever have to eat.

Redently, I received something in my mailbox that should have gone to the church office next door. So I took it to them.  While there, I saw on the bulletin board a promotional flyer for a popular contemporary Christian band coming to do a concert in Jackson. The thing I’ve noticed about these contemporary Christian bands is that they are looking increasingly like motorcycle gangs. I wonder, who are they trying to appeal to? Does your kid, and the kids he/she hangs out with, look like a motorcycle gang?

A few years ago at African Bible College in Malawi, at the annual Spiritual Emphasis Week the speaker was a pastor from California. He brought his 4-member praise band with him. Now, at ABC there are very strict prohibitions about faculty members wearing long hair, facial hair, etc. We’re supposed to look like Deep South fundamentalist preachers. This California praise band, however, broke every rule there ever was, sporting spiky hair, earrings, tattoos and goatees. Nobody could say anything because they were with the guest pastor whose church is a supporter of the college.

So I had the four guys over for lunch one day; they were all nice guys. I served them a typical Malawian meal: nsima (looks like mashed potatoes but is made from corn and is tasteless and nutritionless) beans and greens. Water to drink. No dessert. They were very polite and appreciative, but I was trying to get across to them that this is all Malawians ever have to eat.

A few nights later I was sitting in the den and my son, now ten, came from behind, slapped some glop on my head, and started to pull up tufts of my hair. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was giving me spiky hair because it looks so cool.

In a few weeks I shall attend my home church’s missions conference. It will start with the missions conference banquet. There, it will look like a French restaurant. They will bring out a plate with a dab of food in the center with a squiggle of sauce over it and leaves sticking out. The accent is on presentation. That’s not how I would do it. If I were assigned to organize a missions conference banquet, I would throw up a big tent, like an army field kitchen. I would serve nsima, beans, greens, and water. No dessert. I would explain this is what Malawians eat – every day. I would say, “Welcome to the mission field, enjoy your meal!” This is why I don’t try to be a pastor in the USA; I would last 27 minutes.

Last night I was sitting poolside during my son’s swim team practice and a lady came up and started chatting. She said her church was sending her and a team to African Bible College in Malawi in May. So I asked her what her team would be doing. Among the items she described was they would teach Malawians how to make charcoal briquettes. Now, Malawians depend upon charcoal for cooking and for heating, and you see charcoal vendors all over the place. This is why the country has had such egregious deforestation. So sending a team from the USA to teach Malawians how to make charcoal is kind of like sending a team to Jamaica to teach the Jamaicans how to do dreadlocks and Reggae music. But I’ve learned through hard experience that returning to the USA and expressing reservations about mission trips is kind of like going to India and shooting cows.

I can use my computer to visit all the web sites of all the US churches. I notice that they, or at least the larger ones, offer lots of programs and classes. They have classes for financial management, weight loss, parental skills, gourmet cooking, along with conferences and concerts, and so on. As a teacher of church history, I am aware that this multi-program approach has been tried at another time and another place. Nineteenth century English churches did it. Today maybe 2% of the English population attends church. This is why I persist in teaching church history; I keep thinking someone somewhere may learn from it.

Larry Brown is a minister in the Evangelical Presbyterian Church, a member of Central South Presbytery, and serves as Professor of church history, world history, hermeneutics and missions at the African Bible College in Lilongwe, Malawi.