Genuine fear of the Lord is reserved for those who know Jesus. This fear of the Lord means reverent submission that leads to obedience, and it is interchangeable with worship of God, reliance on him, trust in him, and hope in him. You will find it when you can come to the Lord and are a humble listener to his words. This fear includes a knowledge of our sinfulness and God’s moral purity, and it includes a clear- eyed knowledge of God’s justice and his anger against sin. But it places its confidence in God’s great forgiveness, mercy, and love.

All experiences of the fear of man share at least one common feature: people are big. They have grown to idolatrous proportions in our lives. They control us. Since there is no room in our hearts to worship both God and people, whenever people are big, God is not. Therefore, the first task in escaping the snare of the fear of man is to know that God is awesome and glorious, not other people.

This clicked for me one Sunday while I was sitting in church. It was family month. Each Sunday for the month of February, a different family would speak to the church about their family devotions. All the families were very edifying and, of course, horribly convicting, but the one father gave me a revelation. When asked what he did for family devotions, he said, “Talk about God.”

That was it. That was my revelation.

Let me explain. As a counselor, I live in a “how to” world. A depressed person talks with me because he or she wants to know how to get rid of depression. Couples don’t feel any romance in their relationship; they want to know how to have that spark again. Sometimes, I confess, I speak more about the “how to” than about God.

I have two children who used to bring home great Sunday school materials. Typically, I read these papers on Sunday afternoon. They were always very helpful, full of biblical principles and their application. Lots of good “how-tos.” There were edifying stories of children who felt rejected by their friends and learned how Jesus could help them to love those who were mean. I remember one on cheating that was especially good. But they rarely talked about God.

Don’t get me wrong. I think the application of Scripture to the details of our lives is so important. My observation, however, is that these principles are not always embedded in our primary mission and treasure of knowing God. “He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure” (Isa. 33:6 NIV). When this treasure is not in view, the result is that our goal can be self- improvement rather than the glory of the Holy God.

What Is the Fear of the Lord?

Please don’t think only of terror when you think of the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord, like the fear of people, includes a spectrum of attitudes. On one side, the fear of the Lord does indeed mean a terror of God. We are unclean people, and we appear before the Almighty God who is morally pure. We are rightly ashamed before him, and punishment would be completely just.

Terror is our natural response to God. Such fear shrinks back from him. It wants to avoid him as much as possible. Not that we are always aware of these stirrings in our hearts. A fear of the Lord that loses sight of Jesus might appear as “free-floating anxiety,” low self-esteem, and a host of other modern maladies that we do not attribute to our ever-present connection to God, though it is indeed a consequence of living before him. This fear is afraid of God, but it is not the fear of the Lord.

Genuine fear of the Lord is reserved for those who know Jesus. This fear of the Lord means reverent submission that leads to obedience, and it is interchangeable with worship of God, reliance on him, trust in him, and hope in him. You will find it when you can come to the Lord and are a humble listener to his words. This fear includes a knowledge of our sinfulness and God’s moral purity, and it includes a clear- eyed knowledge of God’s justice and his anger against sin. But it places its confidence in God’s great forgiveness, mercy, and love. It knows that because of God’s eternal plan, Jesus humbled himself by dying on a cross to redeem his enemies from slavery and death. It knows that God always says “I love you” first. This knowledge draws us closer to God rather than causing us to flee. In this fear, we walk humbly with him and delight in obedience. It is the pinnacle of our response to God.

Knowing the difference between these two fears clarifies why Scripture can say “there is no fear in love” (1 John 4:18) while simultaneously demanding the fear of the Lord. The Bible teaches that God’s people are no longer driven by terror—fear that has to do with punishment. Instead, we are blessed with reverential awe motivated by the love and the honor that is due him. The biblical context always clarifies which kind of fear it is referring to.

Why does the Bible use the same word for both responses? Because both fears have something very important in common. They are both responses to the fact that the Holy One of Israel reigns over all the earth. This is the message of the Bible, and it is the essence of the fear of the Lord.

To appreciate the magnitude of this message, you should understand the biblical meaning of the word holy. Holy can be defined as “separate,” “set apart,” “distinct,” or “uncontaminated.” In reference to God, holy means that he is different from us. None of his attributes can be understood by comparison to his creatures. His love and justice are above us; they are holy. His power is that of the Almighty; it can be compared to no one else’s. His moral character is peerless; he alone is righteous.

Holiness is not one of many attributes of God. It is his essential nature and is seen in all his qualities. His wisdom is a holy wisdom. His beauty is a holy beauty. His majesty is a holy majesty. His holiness “adds glory, luster and harmony to all his other perfections.”¹

Some have called this “otherness,” this holiness, of God his transcendence. God is exalted above his people. He lives in a high and lofty place (Isa. 57:15). His judgment and mercy are above us; they are ultimately incomprehensible. As a result, we don’t use a reigning king or queen as our template for God. To say that the Holy God reigns makes it impossible for us to use earthly kings as the model. The Holy God is unique—he is greater and of a different kind than earthly kings. The Holy God is the original; the most glorious of earthly kings are only a dim reflection. Our God is great.

To make the holiness of God even more awesome, the transcendent God has come close to us. He is great, and he is love. It would be one thing to know that God was gloriously transcendent and entirely separate from his creation. In such a situation, we could become accustomed to his lack of intervention in human affairs, and for practical purposes we could become our own gods.

But our God is also the Immanent One who has revealed himself and become like us. He said, “I will walk among you and will be your God, and you shall be my people” (Lev. 26:12). He is near us. He will never leave us or forsake us (Heb. 13:5). He is so close that he calls us “friends” (John 15:14). He is so close that Scripture talks about “Christ in you” (Col. 1:27). Given his nature, this is virtually impossible for us to grasp. But, by God’s grace, we can grow in knowing his holiness, and this knowledge will both expel the people-idols from our lives and leave us less prone to being consumed with ourselves.

Excerpt taken from Chapter 5: “Know the Fear of the Lord”, When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward T. Welch. Used with permission.

1. John M’Clintock and James Strong, “Holiness,” Cyclopedia of Biblical, Theological and Ecclesiastical Literature (New York: Harper, 1872), 4:298.