Meeting in-person demands a way of relating that allows for better pastoring. Sitting across the table from someone, I am forced to see the person as a human who has a story filled with hope, joy, and pain.

It was Tuesday, late afternoon. I had just come back from a meeting and I was walking to my office to “do some pastoring” when I was told that our Internet was down.

What? The Internet, down? How can I pastor without the Internet?

I sat in my chair and felt helpless. I really needed to send some emails. My Inbox was like an untended garden and needed some love. But, of course, I couldn’t do what I needed to do. So, I considered some options. Maybe I should read the Bible. That’s always a good idea but wait, can’t. My Bible is online. Maybe I should call some parishioners. See how they’re doing or something. I concluded they’d be weirded out and so I didn’t call. Maybe I should read the book on preaching that I’ve been reading. No, not a good idea either. I would just be distracted because I would be constantly thinking about my Inbox.

I’ve often wondered how the Internet, particularly email and social media, is changing how I pastor. Generally speaking, as a pastor I believe I am called to guide, protect, instruct, and care for God’s people. I do these things in context of my particular local community and job responsibilities. In the few short years I’ve been a pastor, I’ve notice my pattern of work has changed as a result of the Internet. These changes are both positive and negative.

How is the Internet, particularly social media and email, redefining the pastorate? I may not be best person to answer this question because other people, who’ve been pastors much longer than me, have experienced more change. Nonetheless, I will offer my thoughts. This list is not exhaustive, nor is it only applicable to the pastorate. I imagine most jobs are in process of redefinition.

What are the positive changes?

Accessibility. In the past, pastor and congregants mostly interacted in-person on Sunday morning, some mid-week gathering, or over coffee or a meal. Because of email and, more importantly, social media, pastors and congregants are able to “see” each other throughout the week. Either through a blog post or some status update, we can know what each other is thinking about or doing.

I think this change lends itself to a greater degree of comfort and familiarity between congregant and pastor. As a kid, I was greatly affected when I saw my pastor in a more everyday, ordinary context wearing jeans and baseball hat. It humanized him. Social media can do the same thing. Whether one is a pastor or congregant, social media gives opportunity “see” each other in the context of their “real” life.

I believe increased mutual comfort and familiarity between pastor and congregant results in both parties seeing each other as human. This lends itself to better relationships and more effective pastoring.

More communication. Because of the Internet, I’m more regularly in communication with congregants and they with me. For better or worse, we are able to ask questions of each other that probably wouldn’t be asked if email didn’t exist.

In addition, email can be a less intimidating, less complicated, and, therefore, easier way to initiate a difficult conversation. For me, I think this is a positive change because pastoring often happens in the context of some difficulty that we would rather ignore. This difficulty can be personal sin, interpersonal conflict (including conflict between pastor and congregant), trying circumstances, or something else. If email allows us to more easily move into the struggle and discuss, then I believe it’s a good thing.

Access to more resources. Pastors have more access to resources that assist in guiding, instructing, and caring for God’s people. Personally, I’ve sent articles or blog posts to people that really help them in their place of need.

In addition, it is hugely positive that pastors can easily access resources that help them understand and carry out their calling. Personally, I’ve read blog posts and articles that help me understand my role and the particular issues I encounter. I’ve listened to sermons that help me understand particular texts. I’ve participated in an online pastor’s forum that gives opportunity to interact on various issues.

What are the negative changes?

Less in-person meetings. Because of email and social media, you don’t always need to meet in-person. There are some issues easily discussed and resolved over email or some other medium. Of course, this sounds efficient, and is in some ways. But it can also be negative.

Meeting in-person demands a way of relating that allows for better pastoring. Sitting across the table from someone, I am forced to see the person as a human who has a story filled with hope, joy, and pain.

Illusion of relationship. This point is related to the one above. I really believe to properly pastor a church you need be in relationship with the congregants. Because of social media, pastors can feel they know their congregants when in reality, they really don’t. Regularly seeing someone’s status updates does not provide the sort of relationship that pastoring requires. For social media to be a positive, it must not be the main channel of relationship. It must be supplemental.

More distraction. I think most us understand how email and social media can be a major distraction. Though I may be wrong, I think pastors are more easily susceptible to this. There is such a broach spectrum for what counts as pastoring. For example, I can rationalize watching a You Tube video by saying that I’m seeking to “understand culture.” Because of this, I can think I’m doing something useful with my time when in reality I’m just distracting myself.

More unnecessary conflict. Email is a gift but also a curse. I might actually hold the record for “most times being misunderstood as a result of hasty writing”. Though email does allow for more communication, more isn’t always good. I don’t think I need to explain or prove that email can cause unnecessary conflict. I think we all know that it just does.

Misunderstanding an email or even communicating something that should’ve been said in-person isn’t particular to the pastorate. Any vocation requires one to be wise in their use of email. But given the fact that a pastor plays a unique role in someone’s spiritual health, unnecessary conflict has the potential to be very damaging.
Michael Subrako is a Teaching Elder in the PCA and currently serves as Associate Pastor of Grace Church Seattle.  This article first appeared at the Reformed Communion blog and is used with permission. 

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