BaylorUniversity’s School of Social Work has just released information about two studies that have been done regarding the issue of clergy sexual abuse. The findings are cause for grief for they found such abuse to be “a widespread problem in congregations of all sizes and denominations”.

That means we can no longer say “those things only happen over there in those churches and not ours”. The light has been turned on in the church and so we are called us to wrestle with what ought never to be. It is crucial that we pay attention and understand the issues involved so as to protect God’s sheep and train shepherds who will not damage the sheep of God.

I have spent many years as a psychologist working with those in Christian leadership – pastors, missionaries, elders, counselors and others – who have been sexually involved with those whom they are supposed to be shepherding. Needless to say I have seen untold damage done to the Body of Christ and the Name of Christ.

It is for the sake of that Body and that wonderful Name that I speak about these uncomfortable issues. Many of you are men who shepherd the body of Christ. You will someday answer to God for the way you have carried out the office that you hold. I know that most of you are men who care about the Body of Christ and the name of our Savior. You are not men who want to hear the word “Woe” from the throne of God as when He spoke that word to the shepherds of Israel who fed themselves rather than their sheep. “Those who are sickly you have not strengthened, the diseased you have not healed, the broken you have not bound up, the scattered you have not brought back, nor have you sought for the lost; but with force and with severity you have dominated them” (Ezekiel 34:4). Because the shepherds misused their God-given power and allowed the flock of Israel to become prey, God removed the flock from their care. I do not doubt that you long rather to care for God’s flock well so that someday you hear the words, “Well done”.

What are some of the factors that weave together with the result that a pastor ends up feeding off his sheep? How does someone who set out to preach truth and care for the people of God land in the quagmire of a sexual relationship with one of his parishioner? With few exceptions most of those we deal with began their ministry with no intention of feeding off the sheep. Though the answer to our question is complex I do want to lay out some of the factors that show up consistently when working with this issue.

The first factor to consider is the current climate of ministry. We live in a society that has certain expectations for those in leadership and sadly parts of Christendom have adopted the world’s definition of a good leader. Edwin Friedman, in his 1985 book Generation To Generation writes about two qualities of leadership he believes the culture demands of those who lead us – expertise and charisma. Expertise is that quality that forces those in leadership positions to define themselves in terms of their abilities. A good leader is someone who is an “expert”, perpetually acquiring more information and demonstrating that acquisition by an ever increasing proficiency. A pastor then is one who demonstrates expertise in theology, teaching, preaching, counseling, budget planning, administration, mediating and social relationships. According to these cultural expectations, he is expected to know more, achieve more and perform better. The more adequate he is in these areas, the more he is declared a success. Leadership is reduced to a never-ending treadmill of acquiring better and better skills. Of course, skills are measured by outcome and so the expert is expected to achieve certain results: budgets that run in the black, increasing membership, interesting, dare we say entertaining, sermons, quick fixes in counseling and an efficient and organized ministry.

The second quality good leaders are expected to demonstrate is charisma, that strongly attractive personality that is exuded by certain people. Charismatic leaders can unify divided bodies, infect others with enthusiasm and galvanize people to action. It is a quality that basically helps people feel better. It is not hard to see that both of these qualities put tremendous pressure on the leader. It is the leader who knows more and it is the leader who has the power to move others. Bodies who follow such leaders assume that if success is not forthcoming it is because of a problem with the leader. When success does not result the leader feels increasing anxiety and generally responds by trying harder.

With this climate as a background, it is very easy to see how many in ministry end up governed by the outward results of their service. When the demands are great and the pressure is on, the pastor can be seduced into obedience to the ministry and equate that to obedience to Christ. Decisions are made based on what will succeed, bring in money or produce greater numbers and sustain the institution. And of course, such things are not bad – more people in the pews, more money for wider ministry or a glowing reputation – how can such things be bad? They are bad when they become the master. We are not called to love and obedience to the ministry and its demands but to Jesus Christ and Him alone. We do not work for the ministry. When ministry becomes that which governs, tremendous anxiety results for when is enough truly enough? Even when success is achieved there is anxiety about maintaining it, anxiety about being discovered a fraud and anxiety that someone else is doing better. Anxiety leads people to do whatever it takes to feel better which leads people to use other people and illicit behaviors to alleviate the ever-present anxiety.

The second factor is personal history and character. There is a trend today to select leaders in the Christian world according to gifting rather than character. Leadership in the body of Christ should not be based on gifting but on spiritual maturity. There have been some very immature leaders in the Christian world that achieved power and status because of their gifts rather than because of their maturity. When someone is particularly gifted verbally and theologically it is very easy for us to assume maturity. The ability to articulate theological truths well does not necessarily mean that one is an obedient servant of God. Unfortunately, some even use their abilities and theological knowledge to cover sin. If integrity of character is not the marker then gifts can easily seduce us. Along with this, an understanding of one’s personal history is not usually emphasized in seminary training. I find many pastors have never really thought through how their history has impacted them and therefore their ministries. That means a young boy can grow up under an abusive, alcoholic father who demeans him and beats him and then without looking at the impact on his character, settle into ministry and a pulpit – i.e. a position of power. He may be bright and verbally gifted and gain success in ministry but his ability to handle criticism, his defensiveness or his difficulty with intimacy coupled with a fear of failure born of his father’s criticism will make him highly vulnerable to anxiety and a search for means to alleviate it with little to no understanding of why he is pursuing those very things he preaches against.

In my next column, we will begin to examine the abuse itself.
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Diane Langberg