The moment we hear of prohibitions, the temptation is to be resentful. We don’t likeprohibitions. We want to be unrestricted. But think back to Deuteronomy 25:4, which prohibited a new husband from going to war or even doing business for a year so that he could put all his effort into making his wife happy. Who wouldn’t welcome such a prohibition?! It was really like an invulnerable fortress keeping distractions from interfering with the start of his marriage. It didn’t deprive him of anything. It protected him, and his wife! That’s how we should see the prohibitions God imposes on our use of the Sabbath. 

Early in our marriage, with a growing family of infants, toddlers, and young children from whom we rarely took a break, Debby and I established something of a tradition. Our anniversary was the day to shop for turtlenecks to get the kids ready for winter. Sometimes we also had dinner alone together, but that wasn’t very common.

But through all these thirty years, what we’ve wanted most to do on our anniversaries was just to spend time enjoying each other—in the early years, getting to know each other better, and as time went on, remembering together the blessings of our past.

Our anniversaries could have been more delightful had we been able, every year, to clear everything else off our schedules and devote the time entirely to each other. Some years we achieved that pretty well, but not many. Most of the time other obligations crowded in on us, and some anniversaries were tarnished with unwanted intrusions.

The fault has been mine. I should have carefully marked off each day and kept business and other concerns from encroaching on it. I should have dedicated myself to making the day thoroughly enjoyable for my beloved bride.

Did you know that Old Testament law actually provided for something much like that? Not just for one day in a year, but for every day through an entire year? Listen to Deuteronomy 24:5:

When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken.

Think about that for a minute. The newlywed man is forbidden to go out to war, and indeed no business obligations are to be laid upon him. He is to be at home with his bridefor the sole purpose of bringing happiness to her. That is to be his focus for an entire year: to make his bride happy.

Wives, think back on your first year of marriage. Would you have appreciated it if your husband had set aside all business and spent every day focused on making you happy—whatever that meant? Suppose he had done all the dishes? Or all the vacuuming, or mopping, or laundry? Suppose he had made sure to spend time in prayer and reading the Scriptures with you every morning and evening, and maybe even at noon? Or had simply sat down to listen to you for as long as you wanted to talk—and listened carefully enough that when he said something in response, it was always pertinent and helpful, arising from genuine understanding, and never from self-defense?

Suppose he had realized that, in order to bring you true happiness, he needed to work on his own relationship with Christ, since without maturity he wouldn’t be able to minister well to you, and so he had devoted significant time every day to prayer and the Scriptures and good Christian books on doctrine, holy living, marriage, and other important matters, and had frequently sought counsel from older, more mature Christians, including about how to please you?

Suppose he had paid careful attention to your wardrobe and jewelry collection and taken you out from time to time just to get you beautiful things? Or had encouraged you to go and see friends or family, with or without him, from time to time?

Okay, maybe by now you women are thinking, “Good grief, he’d drive me crazy!”

But think again. Remember what the verse says: He’s to focus on one thing, and one thing only: bringing happiness to you. That means he’s going to learn what drives you crazy—and steer clear of it! He’s going to give you the time alone and the time with others, with or without him, that you need.

He’s not going to drive you crazy. He’s going to drive you happy!

Would you have welcomed such a first year in marriage?

And now, you husbands, think about it. Just suppose for a moment that you’d had the financial freedom to spend the whole first year of your marriage focused on just one thing: making your bride happy. And suppose for a moment that you’d been spiritually mature enough really to lose yourself in doing that—to find nothing in life more delightful than making your wife happy.

Do you think it might have made a difference for the rest of your marriage? Do you think making her happy every day might have made you more happy? Do you think it might have helped the two of you be better lovers? Better parents? Better friends, not just to each other but also to others at church, in your neighborhood, or at work?

I think we all know the answer. Such a first year of marriage could have made all the difference in the world.

Now I want you to think about an imaginary couple, Juan and Christina.

A month or two before their wedding, Juan’s super-rich uncle comes to them and says, “Juan, Christina, I really want to see your marriage get off to a good start, so here’s my signed and sworn promise—notarized right here—to pay all your expenses, not just for necessities but for whatever you two want to do that’s godly and enjoyable, for the first year, including traveling wherever you wish around the world. I also promise to ensure that Juan has a good job starting the day after your first anniversary. The only condition I require is that you spend that whole year making Christina happy.”

I understand, it’s pretty far fetched, but use your imagination.

Now, wouldn’t you think it pretty strange if Juan responded, “You know, Uncle Mario, I don’t like that restriction. I want to do my own thing, serve myself, make myself happy. Sure, I’ll take the money if you want to give it to me, but it’s oppressive and legalistic for you to insist that I spend the year making Christina happy”?

Now think back to the bridegroom in ancient Israel. He’s about to marry the girl of his dreams, and then somebody reminds him, “Hey, Shmuel, remember Deuteronomy 24:5! You can’t go out to battle, and you can’t work, for a whole year. You have to spend the whole year just making Hannah happy!”

Do you think Shmuel would have responded, “You can’t be serious! Forget it! God wouldn’t burden me with spending a whole year relaxing with my wife and making her happy! I want to go out to war! I want to march for hours every day in heat and dust and be around other hot, sweaty, smelly, tired, grumbling men. I want to get into fights and get splattered with other men’s blood and guts and itch and stink for days before I get a chance to bathe. I want to get knocked out by clubs, have my arm broken, maybe get an arrow through my thigh! I want to pine away for home and long for Hannah but not be able to have her. And when I do come home, I want to wear myself out working twelve-hour days digging, planting, cultivating, harvesting, building fences and barns, carrying bundles of sheaves to market, fighting off wolves and lions from my sheep! And wouldn’t it be cool if I could get killed in battle before I ever have a chance to come back and raise a family with her?!”

Is that how you think Shmuel would have responded?

Of course not. That law in Deuteronomy 24:5 offered newlyweds the chance of a lifetime to start their marriages off with consummate joy and happiness, and no bride and groom in their right minds would have balked at it.

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