“If you don’t [fill in the blank], I will leave.” Never give a congregation an ultimatum, or you will find yourself on the losing end of that proposition.
“In closing. Finally.” (For the 5th time) Never tell the congregation you’re almost through. They will not hear another word you say. But if you do, keep your promise.
In addition to the obvious no-no’s, such as profanity, heresy, racism, sexism, and the like, no pastor should ever be heard to utter any of the following from the pulpit.
- “I’m thinking of quitting. I haven’t decided. Pray for me.”
Say that once, and the congregation is stunned. Say it twice, and a group will rise up to make it a reality.
- “I’m no theologian.”
My pastor, who also teaches at seminary, puts this at the top of his list of irritating preacher comments. To the pastor who says this, he says, “Then shut up and sit down!”
The truth is every pastor should function as the resident theologian for his congregation.
- “God told me to tell you … “
If you say, “Thus saith the Lord,” your next words had better be Scripture.
- “The board (deacons or other leadership group) and I are in serious disagreement over this.”
Show some class, preacher, and do not bring arguments into the congregation where they will divide the body and where you have an unfair advantage.
- “My wife is so dumb … “
I’m sorry to say, friend, it’s been said before—supposedly in jest, followed by a bit of silliness. But this has no place in the pulpit.
Such a preacher deserves all the trouble he’s going to get when he returns home.
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