“Did I miss or forget the lessons of three years ago? I’ve already had two strikes; I desperately don’t want a third. I realize that the ultimate answer is something between God and me alone, but maybe you can offer some suggestions that I’ve not yet considered. Here are the options I’ve been mulling over – maybe it’s one of these, none of these, or all of these!”

I’m beginning to ease myself back into a few hours of work a day after my second experience of pulmonary emboli in three years. If you’re interested in what happened from a medical point of view, here’s an animated video.

Personally, I’m not that interested in the medical side of things. I’m much more concerned with the spiritual dimension. It’s been a sobering and solemnizing time in which I’ve been prayerfully trying to interpret this providence and hear God’s “voice” to me in it.

Basically God has stopped me in my tracks once again and I’ve been asking myself Why? Not at all in a rebellious way, but in a humble and teachable way. Did I miss or forget the lessons of three years ago? I’ve already had two strikes; I desperately don’t want a third.

I realize that the ultimate answer is something between God and me alone, but maybe you can offer some suggestions that I’ve not yet considered. Here are the options I’ve been mulling over – maybe it’s one of these, none of these, or all of these!

1. I’ve been on the wrong track and I need to turn around and get on God’s track.

2. I’ve been going too fast on the track and need to slow down.

3. I’ve been traveling on too many tracks at the one time and I need to trim my ministry activities.

4. I’ve been pulling too many carriages behind me and I need to share burdens and delegate better.

5. I’ve been traveling on the right track but on my own steam and I need to rely on God’s “steam” alone.

6. Someone else is on the wrong track and God is using me as a warning to them.

7. My engine needs some rest and repair in a siding for a while.

8. God is preparing me for another journey, but I cannot see it round the corner yet.

9. God wants to stop me from going over a cliff or some other danger ahead.

10. God wants to end my journey. Maybe God is saying, “48 years is all I’d planned for you David. Your journey is over.”

As I said, sobering and solemnizing.

David Murray is Professor of Old Testament & Practical Theology at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. This article first appeared on his blog, Head Heart Hand, and is used with permission.