If we hide pregnancies we hide the dignity, wonder, and beauty of human life. We dehumanize the miracle of life that is the child in the womb. Why would you not want to share that something so wonderful and exciting has happened? By doing so, family and friends can pray for you and the baby. Sharing this hope allows you to be open about the hope and happiness of a child. Celebrate that new life that has begun.

She excitedly held the pregnancy test out to her husband.

“What does that mean? What am I looking at?”

“I’m pregnant!”

“What?!?! Awesome. Oh my gosh! Let’s tell our parents and…”

“No. I want to wait until, you know, later on. Just in case…” she trailed off. He knew what she meant but did not want to say. In case the baby didn’t make it. In case there was a miscarriage.

———-

How many of us have gone through something similar? The exhilaration of pregnancy leads to nervous unease as the days pass. Husband and wife pray, and wait, hoping this pregnancy will make it. Hoping this one is viable. If the heartbreak of miscarriage comes and the news wasn’t shared, then it will be less people to share such pain with. There is no shame to share with everyone. No one has to know you failed…. wait.. what?

Friends, this should not be. Every pregnancy is a gift from God, a tiny human growing inside a mother as the miracle of life begins anew. There is hope, dreams, the promise of a future child and the years to come teaching them, enjoying them, loving them. Conversations are shared as parents think about the future and worry if they are ready, or if it’s not your first child, stocking up on diapers and sleeping as much as possible now.

Why do we hide the wonderful news of conception? I can understand the pain of those who have experienced a miscarriage, which are far more than is shared or talked about. It may seem easier to you not to share the news in case a miscarriage happens. Who wants to deal with so many well meaning people when that news is shared? They’ll call. They’ll want to talk. You’ll cry.

Is that so bad? We must grieve. A child has died. It’s not a mass of cells as though you lost a finger. From the point of conception forward it will be nothing other than a human child, always. Grieve that loss, and don’t do it privately. It is not healthy to keep such sorrow pent up inside you, burning fresh holes in your heart day by day as you cry silently with no shoulder but your grieving spouse.

There is also no shame as there is no failure. You did not fail. Let me say that again, you did not fail. God knows the beginning and end of all things including whether that child will be born or not. In reading the Bible where it speaks of women being barren until God opened their womb, do you think that means they were always incapable of pregnancy? Could it be that they miscarried anytime they got pregnant as well? The language used is often, “she conceived and bore a,” but that doesn’t mean she never conceived before. Only that before now she had not conceived and given birth. Idle speculation perhaps, but something to think about.

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