We can’t simply tell our kids to stop doing certain behaviors; we must also teach them to delight in what God has made. I’ve been trying to make a discipline of pointing out all the good in God’s creation….In short, I want my kids to know that sexual perversion is the height of idolatry (Rom. 1), but also that sexual integrity is the height of beauty.

A recent article in The Telegraph highlights the tragic symptoms of a disease that’s infecting our worldwide culture. The piece focuses mainly on teenagers and the dysfunction that has become normative in their lifestyles as a result of consuming porn.

In light of this, how can parents raise children in a pornified culture? Here are eight suggestions for this ever-increasing problem.

1. Aim to give our kids a huge view of God who is gloriously delightful.

We can’t simply tell our kids to stop doing certain behaviors; we must also teach them to delight in what God has made. I’ve been trying to make a discipline of pointing out all the good in God’s creation….In short, I want my kids to know that sexual perversion is the height of idolatry (Rom. 1), but also that sexual integrity is the height of beauty.

2. Teach them the gospel. Our kids are spring-loaded legalists.

They have to see us model gospel truth through active repentance and forgiveness. They have to know their acceptance before God isn’t based on their performance, but on Christ’s. They have to know their standing as a family member doesn’t depend on their obedience, though their standing does imply a certain type of living….

3. Teach them that boundaries bring freedom and obedience is a blessing.

When I was a kid I thought if I screwed up, God was going to whack me with a big stick. No one ever taught me this, but it’s what I felt. Obedience wasn’t motivated by love, but fear of punishment. This didn’t get me very far….

4. Talk to them sooner than later about sex and internet porn.

When I was 8, I remember going next door to our neighbor’s garage. Like any curious kid, I enjoyed snooping around a bit. I soon discovered he had boxes full of pornographic magazines. Sometimes a friend and I would sneak over there, grab a few, and go sit in the bushes to look at the naked women….But all you need today is a closed door and an internet connection. The vilest perversion imaginable is only two clicks away….We must communicate in general terms what’s available and why it’s so destructive….

5. Begin to train your kids how to interact with the opposite sex.

We’ve already started to “date” our kids. We feel it’s crucial for them, at an early age, to begin experiencing what it’s like to be treated well by a member of the opposite sex. Especially for girls, a lack of healthy male attention from dad will often prompt them to seek it in unhealthy ways from younger men more than happy to provide it. My boys need to learn women aren’t objects to be consumed but image-bearers of God to be loved….

6. Guard who your kids spend time with.

Since sexual exposure is much more accessible today than 25 years ago, we’re much more aware of whom our children spend time with….We must train our kids so they’re sheltered enough to be age-appropriately safe but informed enough to make wise decisions on their own.….

7. Guard the computer and turn off the television.

We have Covenant Eyes on all our computers and, via the AppleOS, our children can only access the websites we’ve approved. Certainly this will change as they get older, but hopefully they will have internalized the gospel and tasted the blessings of obedience….

8. Seek to cultivate a relationship with your kids such that they feel they can be open with you about anything.

As a young dad, I’m not totally sure how to make this happen, but I know it’ll come through modeling openness. I try to draw out their hearts and show them that if they’re honest with me, I’ll be fair, loving, and compassionate. If they see me as guarded and reserved, why would I expect them to be any different?

Read More